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John Bell, the author of this ground-breaking smoking cessation technique, was engaged by a large pharmaceutical company to research methods that general practitioners could use to help patients stop smoking. He set about identifying the methods senior healthcare professionals had used that brought success. Described in the following article is an overview of his findings. Findings that are so powerful, that if followed in a logical sequence, the author guarantees you will stop smoking.
Stop Smoking Advice
Let me ask you a few question. If you were invited to invest one day of your time in discovering how to improve your quality of life dramatically for the better, if it was explained to you why, despite all of the expert medical advice in the world, you continued on along a path you, deep down, suspect will bring about your early demise, if it were made clear to you in simple, un-patronising terms, why you behave the way you do and then you were assisted to change your way of thinking, permanently, with the minimum of effort on your part, would you be prepared to take, at least, that first step on a journey of discovery and change?
If any of your answers are ‘No’ to the above, thank you for your time and have a nice day.
If on the other hand, any of your answers to the above questions were ‘Yes’, and you are a smoker, or know someone who is a smoker, and would like to help them stop, then please read on and let me make your day.
Hello, and congratulations on taking the decision to continue. You have already taken the first step to quit smoking!
Let’s get on. A good place to begin is, yes you have it already, at the beginning. Smoking, and the problems associated with it, are not new. Intelligent people have been smoking tobacco for thousands of years.
The tobacco plant has been growing in the Americas since around 6000 BC. Christopher Columbus described witnessing a man with a hoard of tobacco leaves who used them to trade, way back in 1492.
That same year the first record of a European, a Spaniard named Jerez, is chronicled as setting alight to leaves wrapped in paper, and then proceeding to inhale the resulting smoke.
Being a Spaniard, around the time of the infamous Spanish Inquision, he was immediately placed behind bars for what was considered unholy behaviour. On his release he discovered a smoking ‘craze’ had taken over the country. A ‘craze’ that now has worldwide popularity.
The term ‘craze’ suggests smokers are crazy. As a former heavy smoker (40 a day), I do not believe I was either insane or demented.
I take great solace that one of the most intelligent men of the twentieth century, namely Albert Einstein, was also a heavy smoker. So smoking has little to do with intelligence.
So why do people smoke when they know of the likely consequences? Some years back, a large pharmaceutical company engaged me to research the methods that doctors and nurses used to help their patients to stop smoking. There were few then and little has changed.
What I did discover during my research was a phenomenon recognised and accepted by healthcare professionals that helped me unlock the mystery as to why intelligent, well-educated people, smoke despite a wealth of evidence showing smoking kills. That phenomenon is called The Placebo Effect and is connected with the way the human mind is programmed.
There is no greater power than that of the human mind. Although we increasingly rely on computers, the human mind has a far greater capacity for processing information. It has facilities no computer can match.
I wrote this article using voice recognition software. The computer types the words I speak, and even checks the spelling and grammar. It sometimes even offers suggestions for the completion of a sentence. Over time, it gets better at recognising my voice. Clever - certainly. Impressive - yes. Intelligent - absolutely not!
As yet, no computer is capable of original thought. I believe that when computers acquire the ability to think in ways more like the human brain, then our real problems as humankind will surely begin. Computers will potentially be capable of dominating the world and our lives could change dramatically.
Until that time we need to rely on our own brainpower. It is a fact that we use only a fraction of this power, and if we can learn to use more of the huge potential of our own brains we can achieve many things we might have thought impossible. This includes smoking cessation.
This article is primarily about describing how the human brain works, why individuals begin smoking in the first place and then fail to quit despite dire warnings as to the consequences if they fail to do so. By learning the mechanics of thought we can tap into an enormous, often dormant power and in so doing escape the clutches of nicotine. So what is the Placebo Effect?
During my research I discovered that before each and every medication produced by pharmaceutical companies can be offered for sale it has to be thoroughly tested. One such test is to measure the effectiveness of the medication against a control, known as a placebo. A placebo, in this context, is a medicine, pill or potion that has absolutely no medicinal qualities whatever. In effect, it is a ‘sugar pill.’
It has long been recognised that if a patient truly believes that a pharmacologically inactive substance has an ability to cure, then, amazingly, it can, and often does. Research has shown that the power of the human mind has the ability to make people better. To do so, some change takes place in the brain.
The mind consistently proves that it can control the body. That is why smoking is not only a mental addiction it is a physical one too.
The subconscious part of the brain is like a sponge. It absorbs information uncritically. This is why, when a smoker’s conscious mind initially instructs the brain to performs certain functions, the subconscious sets up a system that puts the required behaviour into a ‘standing order file’. Have a cup of coffee, have a fag, wake up in the morning, have a fag etc. The difficulty for most smokers is that once the subconscious has set up a standing order there has, up until now, been great difficulty in changing that instruction.
Here lies at the root of the problem as to why some people seem to quit smoking with little effort whilst others fight one losing battle of willpower after another.
As you are likely to know nicotine is very addictive. Willpower alone is rarely sufficient to enable a smoker to quit. These were two of the major findings in my research but were of little help in my quest to help people quit smoking. A mayor breakthrough came when I linked those findings to some other research I had embarked on some years before.
Whilst working as a stage hypnotist I had discovered that we can find ways to convince the mind that certain things are true and by doing so we have a route that opens up enormous possibilities. These routes I discovered are in the subconscious.
Quite simply I realised it is possible to directly influence the subconscious – yours and that of other people – by using inert, harmless, placebo-like techniques. With the use of certain procedures I found I could enter the subconscious minds of others and redirect signals used to control human behaviour.
There is a saying ‘It’s easy to stop smoking – I’ve done it hundreds of time’. That was so true for me as a smoker of forty a day. When I thought back to the method I used when I finally quit smoking it was connected to a direct influence I placed in my subconscious.
Let me explain a little more. The subconscious has an enormous influence on our thinking and thence our actions.
The human brain is made up of an estimated 75,000,000,000 nerve cells known as neurons, and each neuron is believed to have up to 100,000 connections, known as synapses, to other neurons. Many of these cells are found in the subconscious part of the brain.
Here is where the problem lays for so many smokers who want to quit but find they are unable to do so. Imagine these neurons and synapses as being similar to junction points found on railway lines. Your conscious mind says ‘Don’t smoke’ whilst the subconscious, which by definition you are not conscious of, continues to pass the message ‘time for a fag I think’.
Having the ability to manipulate those synaptic signals gives some indication as to the Power of Placebo and why redirecting unwanted messages to the mind’s trash bin and then cancelling subconscious standing orders makes such perfect sense.
So now you know why smokers often have so much trouble in quitting smoking. It has little to do with willpower or intelligence and much to do with the need to redirect subconscious signals to the trash bin whilst cancelling standing orders set up years before.
The next stage I suggest is for you to find someone willing and able to carry out the subconscious maintenance that is required and recommended. Visit www.stopspmoking.synthasite.com to learn more.
Thursday, 28 August 2008
Monday, 23 June 2008
Motivate and Inspire Conference Audiences
Preparing your talk as a Motivation Speaker
Having established exactly what is required of you as a motivation speaker, you can then begin the task of preparing your presentation. The best method is to find a large table or desk and clear it of any clutter. Clutter causes calamities!
Take a pad of ‘Post-it’ notes (small sheets of note paper with a not-too-sticky glue patch on the rear side) and begin brainstorming - one idea per sheet.
As an example: perhaps, as a motivation speaker, you have been asked to give a talk with the title, ‘How New Improved Widgets Can Power-up Your Profits!’ You already have the title - next you need to think about the aim or objective of the presentation. The client has perhaps stated he wants delegates to leave the conference having acquired two or three key ideas that they can put into practice back in their place of work.
Write the title on a ‘Post-it' and stick it in the middle of the table or desk. Note key ideas on another three notes. You can now start your brainstorming session. Anything connected to your title should be written in brief note form on a ‘Post-it’ and positioned around the title. As you continue the title gets surrounded by other words or phrases describing the object of your talk and its attributes. In this case, it might be New - Improved - Quality - Price Advantage.
During this brainstorming don’t disturb the free flow of your ideas by focusing too much on a particular thought or idea. Just write brief notes, and stick them on your work surface. Getting into an analysis at this stage of whether or not a particular sub-topic should be included stifles the flow of good ideas. By all means try to place your notes next to related ideas so they form groups that represent a particular theme. By the end of your brainstorming session you should have a table covered in ‘Post-its’.
Time to cull
Assuming you have made some order of your ‘Post-it’ ideas, you must then begin culling them. I use the word culling because it can be hard to do away with ideas that you have nurtured. To watch some people perform this phase of the development of a talk you would think they were being asked to sacrifice living creatures! Of course, all you are doing is some objective editing. Get rid of anything that is not central to the objectives of your talk. It has to be done otherwise, all that you achieve will be a talk that clouds important points with an overload of information.
Worse still, as a motivation speaker, you are likely to overrun your allocated time - much to the annoyance of your client, the chairperson for the day, and especially the next speaker, who will have to cut short their presentation because of your inconsideration.
At the same conferences the chairperson will discretely indicate to the motivation speaker how much time is left with a show of fingers. If you overrun your allocated time four fingers drawn across the throat means you are unlikely to be invited to speak at the next conference!
Take an objective look at your notes. Consider the information carefully. If the content is not totally relevant, then remove the note. Discard material that you are not totally comfortable with. Check the agreed title. Does the information remaining on the table lie comfortably in the topic? Are you meeting the aims and objectives of your talk?
If you are unsure whether your client would or would not prefer a particular topic be addressed in your presentation - check. Just one phone call could be the difference between you getting additional work with that particular client in the future, or no!
Creating order
It is now time to create some a degree of order from your ideas. Every conference speech as a motivation speaker should have the same structure. The rule is exactly the same whether you are writing a book, a song or a talk. All talks or presentations must have a beginning, a middle and an end.
Your presentation should flow naturally, like a river on its journey towards the sea. Giving the talk structure aids your delivery, and also improves audience comprehension and enjoyment.
The beginning
The beginning of a talk needs to achieve two things. Firstly, you have to establish audience attention. This can be as simple as introducing yourself, saying how honoured you are to address the meeting. Such pleasantries are familiar and allow the audience to settle down and get used to the sound of your voice. Do not be tempted to try anything dramatic, such as making sudden movements or a loud sound. This is a crude way of grabbing attention and will not win you any friends in the audience. Secondly, you need to spend a few minutes, no more, on something that does not require too much mental agility from your audience. Including a few words on the history of your topic creates interest, covers familiar ground, and allows your listeners to appreciate by contrast how significant current advances are.
By way of example - I once gave a talk on a medical theme, and began by reflecting how only 100 years had passed since depression was being treated by cutting holes into the head of the poor patient to reduce pressure, it was though at the time to allow the escape of undesirable elements and facilitate recovery.
If you had found that fact interesting so probably would your delegates. By developing interest early you start to whet the appetite of your audience and it allows the talk to smoothly flow into the present day.
One last thing about opening your talk - never apologise! It does not matter if you think you have something to apologise about, never do it. If you have arrived a little late, the lighting or microphone has failed, your visual aids are a little poor, or the break-time coffee was cold, leave it to the chairperson to make the apology. You need to start on a positive note and nothing should detract from that.
The middle
The main part of your talk - this is where you ensure that you present the core points. However, this section requires its own special kind of introduction. It even has its own name - the ‘gestalt’. This is a German word for which a rough translation in this context would be ‘overview’. The most common textbook definition of a gestalt is ‘a whole which is larger than the sum of its parts.’
You need to tell the audience, in advance, and in brief summary, what you are about to tell them! It seems a slightly odd thing to do, but people listen better, and retain more, when they have a broad view of the direction you intend to take them.
In practical terms, you are creating an awareness of what is intended, and this awareness allows active co-operation. You will find that any audience reacts badly to a speaker who sets off without giving an overview.
As the bulk of my motivation speaker blog is concerned with how to deliver your talk, I am not going to say much more here other than this: be natural - talk to your audience as if they were your best friends. Of course, you will be using all sorts of presentation skills and techniques, but the point I am making is that the audience should feel that you are addressing each one of them as an individual. Be sure to make eye contact, and see to it that those at the back and the sides get their fair share of your attention.
The very best motivation speakers look as though they are behaving completely naturally - that is their consummate skill. They have learned how to make technique invisible, leaving only the personality and the message to shine through.
The end
Perhaps the most important lesson here is to make certain that you finish within your allocated time. You will have practised your speech, but bear in mind that it always takes longer to deliver for real than it does in front of the bedroom mirror. It is plain bad manners, and very unprofessional, to run over your time.
If there is no clock at the back of the hall, then take your watch off and place it where you can easily see it - on the lectern or table. Make sure that you are not seen to be checking it. Surreptitiously looking at your wristwatch is not the thing to do. You need to appear to be timing your speech as though you are using an internal body clock.
The imminent closing of your speech needs to be signalled to the audience. This gives them a chance to ease down their attention a little, and perhaps, if you intend to allow time for questions, gives them an opportunity to think of something appropriate.
The ending can take several forms. A popular one is to summarise the main points you have made. Another is to tell a little story. This needs to be appropriate and relevant, and if humour is appropriate, this is a good time to use it.
One technique that I use is to end a motivation speaker presentation with some thoughts for the future. This is when you can re-emphasise the points that your client has asked you to be sure to make. By doing a thorough job of getting the agreed aims and objectives across to the audience, you can dramatically increase the likelihood of future repeat work from that particular client.
Beware of falling into the trap of making the ending too long. I have lost count of the number of speakers I have heard who say something like, ‘ . . and in conclusion . .’, only to drivel on for another five or ten minutes.
When you get to the end - stop!
Do not be tempted to use the ending to get over a point you missed, or to say something unrehearsed. Simply thank the audience and the person chairing the event step back, and wait for the applause.
To improve your skills as a motivation speaker I suggest you visit other areas of my website where I offer further advice.
Having established exactly what is required of you as a motivation speaker, you can then begin the task of preparing your presentation. The best method is to find a large table or desk and clear it of any clutter. Clutter causes calamities!
Take a pad of ‘Post-it’ notes (small sheets of note paper with a not-too-sticky glue patch on the rear side) and begin brainstorming - one idea per sheet.
As an example: perhaps, as a motivation speaker, you have been asked to give a talk with the title, ‘How New Improved Widgets Can Power-up Your Profits!’ You already have the title - next you need to think about the aim or objective of the presentation. The client has perhaps stated he wants delegates to leave the conference having acquired two or three key ideas that they can put into practice back in their place of work.
Write the title on a ‘Post-it' and stick it in the middle of the table or desk. Note key ideas on another three notes. You can now start your brainstorming session. Anything connected to your title should be written in brief note form on a ‘Post-it’ and positioned around the title. As you continue the title gets surrounded by other words or phrases describing the object of your talk and its attributes. In this case, it might be New - Improved - Quality - Price Advantage.
During this brainstorming don’t disturb the free flow of your ideas by focusing too much on a particular thought or idea. Just write brief notes, and stick them on your work surface. Getting into an analysis at this stage of whether or not a particular sub-topic should be included stifles the flow of good ideas. By all means try to place your notes next to related ideas so they form groups that represent a particular theme. By the end of your brainstorming session you should have a table covered in ‘Post-its’.
Time to cull
Assuming you have made some order of your ‘Post-it’ ideas, you must then begin culling them. I use the word culling because it can be hard to do away with ideas that you have nurtured. To watch some people perform this phase of the development of a talk you would think they were being asked to sacrifice living creatures! Of course, all you are doing is some objective editing. Get rid of anything that is not central to the objectives of your talk. It has to be done otherwise, all that you achieve will be a talk that clouds important points with an overload of information.
Worse still, as a motivation speaker, you are likely to overrun your allocated time - much to the annoyance of your client, the chairperson for the day, and especially the next speaker, who will have to cut short their presentation because of your inconsideration.
At the same conferences the chairperson will discretely indicate to the motivation speaker how much time is left with a show of fingers. If you overrun your allocated time four fingers drawn across the throat means you are unlikely to be invited to speak at the next conference!
Take an objective look at your notes. Consider the information carefully. If the content is not totally relevant, then remove the note. Discard material that you are not totally comfortable with. Check the agreed title. Does the information remaining on the table lie comfortably in the topic? Are you meeting the aims and objectives of your talk?
If you are unsure whether your client would or would not prefer a particular topic be addressed in your presentation - check. Just one phone call could be the difference between you getting additional work with that particular client in the future, or no!
Creating order
It is now time to create some a degree of order from your ideas. Every conference speech as a motivation speaker should have the same structure. The rule is exactly the same whether you are writing a book, a song or a talk. All talks or presentations must have a beginning, a middle and an end.
Your presentation should flow naturally, like a river on its journey towards the sea. Giving the talk structure aids your delivery, and also improves audience comprehension and enjoyment.
The beginning
The beginning of a talk needs to achieve two things. Firstly, you have to establish audience attention. This can be as simple as introducing yourself, saying how honoured you are to address the meeting. Such pleasantries are familiar and allow the audience to settle down and get used to the sound of your voice. Do not be tempted to try anything dramatic, such as making sudden movements or a loud sound. This is a crude way of grabbing attention and will not win you any friends in the audience. Secondly, you need to spend a few minutes, no more, on something that does not require too much mental agility from your audience. Including a few words on the history of your topic creates interest, covers familiar ground, and allows your listeners to appreciate by contrast how significant current advances are.
By way of example - I once gave a talk on a medical theme, and began by reflecting how only 100 years had passed since depression was being treated by cutting holes into the head of the poor patient to reduce pressure, it was though at the time to allow the escape of undesirable elements and facilitate recovery.
If you had found that fact interesting so probably would your delegates. By developing interest early you start to whet the appetite of your audience and it allows the talk to smoothly flow into the present day.
One last thing about opening your talk - never apologise! It does not matter if you think you have something to apologise about, never do it. If you have arrived a little late, the lighting or microphone has failed, your visual aids are a little poor, or the break-time coffee was cold, leave it to the chairperson to make the apology. You need to start on a positive note and nothing should detract from that.
The middle
The main part of your talk - this is where you ensure that you present the core points. However, this section requires its own special kind of introduction. It even has its own name - the ‘gestalt’. This is a German word for which a rough translation in this context would be ‘overview’. The most common textbook definition of a gestalt is ‘a whole which is larger than the sum of its parts.’
You need to tell the audience, in advance, and in brief summary, what you are about to tell them! It seems a slightly odd thing to do, but people listen better, and retain more, when they have a broad view of the direction you intend to take them.
In practical terms, you are creating an awareness of what is intended, and this awareness allows active co-operation. You will find that any audience reacts badly to a speaker who sets off without giving an overview.
As the bulk of my motivation speaker blog is concerned with how to deliver your talk, I am not going to say much more here other than this: be natural - talk to your audience as if they were your best friends. Of course, you will be using all sorts of presentation skills and techniques, but the point I am making is that the audience should feel that you are addressing each one of them as an individual. Be sure to make eye contact, and see to it that those at the back and the sides get their fair share of your attention.
The very best motivation speakers look as though they are behaving completely naturally - that is their consummate skill. They have learned how to make technique invisible, leaving only the personality and the message to shine through.
The end
Perhaps the most important lesson here is to make certain that you finish within your allocated time. You will have practised your speech, but bear in mind that it always takes longer to deliver for real than it does in front of the bedroom mirror. It is plain bad manners, and very unprofessional, to run over your time.
If there is no clock at the back of the hall, then take your watch off and place it where you can easily see it - on the lectern or table. Make sure that you are not seen to be checking it. Surreptitiously looking at your wristwatch is not the thing to do. You need to appear to be timing your speech as though you are using an internal body clock.
The imminent closing of your speech needs to be signalled to the audience. This gives them a chance to ease down their attention a little, and perhaps, if you intend to allow time for questions, gives them an opportunity to think of something appropriate.
The ending can take several forms. A popular one is to summarise the main points you have made. Another is to tell a little story. This needs to be appropriate and relevant, and if humour is appropriate, this is a good time to use it.
One technique that I use is to end a motivation speaker presentation with some thoughts for the future. This is when you can re-emphasise the points that your client has asked you to be sure to make. By doing a thorough job of getting the agreed aims and objectives across to the audience, you can dramatically increase the likelihood of future repeat work from that particular client.
Beware of falling into the trap of making the ending too long. I have lost count of the number of speakers I have heard who say something like, ‘ . . and in conclusion . .’, only to drivel on for another five or ten minutes.
When you get to the end - stop!
Do not be tempted to use the ending to get over a point you missed, or to say something unrehearsed. Simply thank the audience and the person chairing the event step back, and wait for the applause.
To improve your skills as a motivation speaker I suggest you visit other areas of my website where I offer further advice.
Saturday, 21 June 2008
Success – Ten Top Tips
Success – Ten Top Tips
I have one key message in this next blog. Here it is:
When you do what successful people do, you will be successful.
For many years I have worked as a motivational keynote conference speaker with professionals in a range of industries to help them achieve greater success. I have discovered that the communication skills that lead to success in the healthcare or IT industries, for example, are just the same as those in your personal relationships.
If you’re still not sure whether you need to read this article, ask yourself a couple of important questions:
Would you like to be more successful than you are?
Would you invest an hour of your time listening to me giving a motivational and inspirational keynote speech, or spend ten minutes reading this article, if you knew it would help to make you more successful?
Tip one: Model their Behaviour
Research shows that all successful people do much the same things. So, model their behaviour and be like them. Here are three things that successful people do so often that they do so by habit without thinking:
Get your brain used to change
Cross your arms a different way. Tie your laces the wrong way round. Successful people are unafraid of change. Practise.
Write down your ideas
Carry a notepad and pen with you at all times. Use them. Ideas will come to you in the middle of the night, or during a walk, or while you’re working on something else. Write down every idea. Encourage colleagues to do the same. Successful people never waste ideas.
Picture yourself succeeding
Whatever your goal, imagine how you will feel when you achieve it. Where will you be? What will you be wearing? What will people say to you?
Visualisation is a powerful tool for success.
Tip two: Learn to listen
Listen with more than your ears. Listen actively.
Act like a professional listener
Raise your eyebrows now and then. Give little nods. Say ‘I see’. Echo what the other person said. Ask short probing questions using what, why, when, how, where.
Watch out for ‘body-language’
Often, when people are not being honest, their hand tries to cover their mouth. Men wearing glasses take them off, or look down. Women often look up and find an imaginary piece of makeup on their eyelash.
Tip three: Stop ‘trying’
The opposite of ‘succeed’ is not ‘fail’. It’s ‘try’. Eliminating the word ‘try’ from your vocabulary will make you more effective.
Instead of saying ‘I’ll try…’, say ‘I will…’
Sometimes you will find you can’t honestly say that you will do something. This is a sign that you are not committed to doing it. Now you are using ‘meta-language’. If you don’t mean what you say, don’t say it.
Be suspicious of people who say ‘I’ll try’
When someone tells you that he will try, be alert to the likelihood that he may not be able to keep his word or is not committed to the task.
Tip four: Get rid of your gremlin
We all have a gremlin who whispers in our ear and stops us taking chances. ‘You can’t do this,’ it mutters. ‘You’ll never do that.’ Sack your gremlin today.
Contradict your worries immediately
When the little doubting voice whispers in your ear, tell yourself the exact opposite, loud and clear. Like visualisation, saying a thing makes it true.
Let your body educate your brain
Sit up straight. Head high. Shoulders relaxed. Eyes direct. Smile. Your gremlin finds it hard to counteract positive body posture and will eventually fall off your shoulder.
Tip five: How can I do this better?
Successful people never stop asking the question ‘How can I do this better?’ Get used to doing this too.
When you suggest change, your team may assume you’re criticising what they do now. Reassure them by showing that you are also open to change. Challenge everything, however small or obvious.
Take it slow and steady
Roger Bannister conquered the four-minute mile by first running a
quarter-mile in a minute, then a half-mile, and so on. Everyone else was trying to run a whole mile in four minutes. Break down your goals into smaller, achievable chunks and eventually you will get there.
Tip six: Admit your weaknesses
Look at each of the jobs you do. There are some tasks that you don’t enjoy and are not good at. Ask yourself why you are doing them.
Hire an expert
Perhaps you’re saving money. The truth is, because it’s not what you are good at, or what you love to do, you cannot do it as well or as quickly as a person who adores doing that same task. You are wasting your own time and in the long term you are wasting money. Get someone else to do it.
Look around at the others in your team. Everyone has some jobs they are not gifted for, but that must be done. So, offer to swap some tasks around, so that everyone has more of the jobs they excel at. You will all have more time to become successful.
Tip seven: Behaviour breeds behaviour
Family and work colleagues are strongly affected by how you behave. They watch you, and judge your mood, based on how you look. So, consider the message you want to send out, and behave accordingly.
Set a relaxed, creative, happy atmosphere
Smile, say ‘hello’ and make small talk when you go into the office each morning. Come home from work with something positive to say, and ask your partner and family how their days have been.
Dare to be different
Just because ‘everyone’ does something in a certain way, albeit an
inefficient one, doesn’t mean that you have to do it that way too. Be daring. Break the mould now and again.
Tip eight: Imagination
Einstein said that imagination is more important than knowledge. He had no rockets on which to test his new Theory of Relativity, so he used his imagination.
Give your imagination room to roam
Have regular ‘down time’.
Go for a walk in the park.
Chat with a colleague at the water-cooler.
Take the long way back from lunch for once.
Get used to encouraging your mind to roam.
Value every idea you have.
Write down things that other people say that strike you as clever or
insightful.
Tip nine: Take action
‘Being successful’ is not in itself the objective. Think about what you will have, and what you will be able to do, once you are successful. Instead of thinking ‘I want to be rich’, think what having money will buy you, such as a new car or two holidays abroad a year.
Make your goals real to you. Research shows that people who write down their goals are more likely to succeed than those who don’t. Write yours down, be specific, and mean them.
Set out on the path to success
Look at your written goals, and work backwards towards the present day. What achievable steps could you take to reach your objectives? Write those down too.
Tip ten: Behave like a successful person
When you ride a bike, and look too hard at the one pothole in the road, you will ride straight into it. If, instead, you concentrate on the rest of the smooth road, you will miss the hole completely. Be careful where your negative thoughts may take you.
Keep success in mind
Whatever you think about, you get. Decide not to even consider failure any more, or that might be just what you end up with. Always rehearse successful scenarios in your mind, in vivid colour, and in real time, starring yourself as the successful person.
Keep score
Give yourself credit when things go your way. When they don’t, ask: ‘How can I make this better in future?’ Revisit your written objectives now and then, and cross off the steps you’ve already taken.
I wish you every success.
I have one key message in this next blog. Here it is:
When you do what successful people do, you will be successful.
For many years I have worked as a motivational keynote conference speaker with professionals in a range of industries to help them achieve greater success. I have discovered that the communication skills that lead to success in the healthcare or IT industries, for example, are just the same as those in your personal relationships.
If you’re still not sure whether you need to read this article, ask yourself a couple of important questions:
Would you like to be more successful than you are?
Would you invest an hour of your time listening to me giving a motivational and inspirational keynote speech, or spend ten minutes reading this article, if you knew it would help to make you more successful?
Tip one: Model their Behaviour
Research shows that all successful people do much the same things. So, model their behaviour and be like them. Here are three things that successful people do so often that they do so by habit without thinking:
Get your brain used to change
Cross your arms a different way. Tie your laces the wrong way round. Successful people are unafraid of change. Practise.
Write down your ideas
Carry a notepad and pen with you at all times. Use them. Ideas will come to you in the middle of the night, or during a walk, or while you’re working on something else. Write down every idea. Encourage colleagues to do the same. Successful people never waste ideas.
Picture yourself succeeding
Whatever your goal, imagine how you will feel when you achieve it. Where will you be? What will you be wearing? What will people say to you?
Visualisation is a powerful tool for success.
Tip two: Learn to listen
Listen with more than your ears. Listen actively.
Act like a professional listener
Raise your eyebrows now and then. Give little nods. Say ‘I see’. Echo what the other person said. Ask short probing questions using what, why, when, how, where.
Watch out for ‘body-language’
Often, when people are not being honest, their hand tries to cover their mouth. Men wearing glasses take them off, or look down. Women often look up and find an imaginary piece of makeup on their eyelash.
Tip three: Stop ‘trying’
The opposite of ‘succeed’ is not ‘fail’. It’s ‘try’. Eliminating the word ‘try’ from your vocabulary will make you more effective.
Instead of saying ‘I’ll try…’, say ‘I will…’
Sometimes you will find you can’t honestly say that you will do something. This is a sign that you are not committed to doing it. Now you are using ‘meta-language’. If you don’t mean what you say, don’t say it.
Be suspicious of people who say ‘I’ll try’
When someone tells you that he will try, be alert to the likelihood that he may not be able to keep his word or is not committed to the task.
Tip four: Get rid of your gremlin
We all have a gremlin who whispers in our ear and stops us taking chances. ‘You can’t do this,’ it mutters. ‘You’ll never do that.’ Sack your gremlin today.
Contradict your worries immediately
When the little doubting voice whispers in your ear, tell yourself the exact opposite, loud and clear. Like visualisation, saying a thing makes it true.
Let your body educate your brain
Sit up straight. Head high. Shoulders relaxed. Eyes direct. Smile. Your gremlin finds it hard to counteract positive body posture and will eventually fall off your shoulder.
Tip five: How can I do this better?
Successful people never stop asking the question ‘How can I do this better?’ Get used to doing this too.
When you suggest change, your team may assume you’re criticising what they do now. Reassure them by showing that you are also open to change. Challenge everything, however small or obvious.
Take it slow and steady
Roger Bannister conquered the four-minute mile by first running a
quarter-mile in a minute, then a half-mile, and so on. Everyone else was trying to run a whole mile in four minutes. Break down your goals into smaller, achievable chunks and eventually you will get there.
Tip six: Admit your weaknesses
Look at each of the jobs you do. There are some tasks that you don’t enjoy and are not good at. Ask yourself why you are doing them.
Hire an expert
Perhaps you’re saving money. The truth is, because it’s not what you are good at, or what you love to do, you cannot do it as well or as quickly as a person who adores doing that same task. You are wasting your own time and in the long term you are wasting money. Get someone else to do it.
Look around at the others in your team. Everyone has some jobs they are not gifted for, but that must be done. So, offer to swap some tasks around, so that everyone has more of the jobs they excel at. You will all have more time to become successful.
Tip seven: Behaviour breeds behaviour
Family and work colleagues are strongly affected by how you behave. They watch you, and judge your mood, based on how you look. So, consider the message you want to send out, and behave accordingly.
Set a relaxed, creative, happy atmosphere
Smile, say ‘hello’ and make small talk when you go into the office each morning. Come home from work with something positive to say, and ask your partner and family how their days have been.
Dare to be different
Just because ‘everyone’ does something in a certain way, albeit an
inefficient one, doesn’t mean that you have to do it that way too. Be daring. Break the mould now and again.
Tip eight: Imagination
Einstein said that imagination is more important than knowledge. He had no rockets on which to test his new Theory of Relativity, so he used his imagination.
Give your imagination room to roam
Have regular ‘down time’.
Go for a walk in the park.
Chat with a colleague at the water-cooler.
Take the long way back from lunch for once.
Get used to encouraging your mind to roam.
Value every idea you have.
Write down things that other people say that strike you as clever or
insightful.
Tip nine: Take action
‘Being successful’ is not in itself the objective. Think about what you will have, and what you will be able to do, once you are successful. Instead of thinking ‘I want to be rich’, think what having money will buy you, such as a new car or two holidays abroad a year.
Make your goals real to you. Research shows that people who write down their goals are more likely to succeed than those who don’t. Write yours down, be specific, and mean them.
Set out on the path to success
Look at your written goals, and work backwards towards the present day. What achievable steps could you take to reach your objectives? Write those down too.
Tip ten: Behave like a successful person
When you ride a bike, and look too hard at the one pothole in the road, you will ride straight into it. If, instead, you concentrate on the rest of the smooth road, you will miss the hole completely. Be careful where your negative thoughts may take you.
Keep success in mind
Whatever you think about, you get. Decide not to even consider failure any more, or that might be just what you end up with. Always rehearse successful scenarios in your mind, in vivid colour, and in real time, starring yourself as the successful person.
Keep score
Give yourself credit when things go your way. When they don’t, ask: ‘How can I make this better in future?’ Revisit your written objectives now and then, and cross off the steps you’ve already taken.
I wish you every success.
Monday, 2 June 2008
Motivating Speaker - Tips to Help You Choose by Motivation Expert John Bell
1. Why Motivational Speakers are Necessary
Find a quality speaker with the special ability to motivate and you can be assured your meeting, seminar, convention or conference will have the success all of your hard work, no-doubt, rightly deserves.
Motivating speakers turn ‘average’ event evaluation scores into superlatives such as, brilliant, fantastic and superb.
Correctly motivate your delegates and you receive credit for helping to install in them an internal energy that determines all aspects of their future behaviour. This is why motivational speakers are hired and your final choice is so important.
2. Watch out for Pretenders
It is essential you understand that any Tom, Dick or Harry can legally call themselves motivational speakers. So simply finding someone listed as such on a website, or in a business directory, is no guarantee as to his or her ability to motivate an audience.
Would-be speakers are inventing themselves on a daily basis. They see the perceived success, and other associated privileges that the top international, professional speakers appear to have, and think along the lines ‘I could do that – easy money, travel to exotic places, fast cars, top hotels etc’. Ask a top motivational speaker if that is fair reflection of their lifestyle and he or she is likely to reply ‘If only’. So what do you need to look out for?
3. Sourcing a Speaker
Type motivating speaker into a search engine and you can expect well over three million hits. This, of course, only partially helps you in your quest for the perfect speaker for your event! How many days have you set aside for this task? If you are thinking in hours, rather than years, then you are advised to read on:
Choosing a short list of potential candidates from the first two or three pages of a search engine listing seems, and is to some extent, a logical way to proceed. However, there are further issues that are worthy of your consideration:
4. Agents, Bureaus or Direct to a Speaker?
Speaker agents and bureaus represent the majority of the best, professional speakers. Many of the top motivational speakers are also a business in their own right and, as such, will additionally represent their own best interests.
Agents are only interested in top speakers and proactively promote them, putting a speaker’s name forward to conference organisers and the like. They charge a fee to the speaker for this service, usually based on a percentage of the speaker’s fee for the occasion. For effective ‘numbers’ management reasons, the choice of speakers found through an agent, can be limiting.
Bureaus tend to be dedicated to providing conference organisers, corporations, associations, and educational institutions with a large selection of professional speakers from which to choose. Too much choice can be their biggest disadvantage.
Speakers, good and bad, experienced and amateurs, also often represent their own interests, and so it may be useful if I now provide a few tips on how to identify an established, professional speaker of quality from a large pool of the Johnny-come-lately brigade.
5. Quality Shines Through
Type motivating speaker into a search engine and you can be overwhelmed by the choice that is presented for your consideration. Top position for individual speakers usually fluctuates from one day to the next, so compose a short-list from the first two or three pages, and you are ready to begin.
It is worth of bearing in mind that sponsored links are there because someone is prepared to pay, sometimes-large amounts, to jump to the front of the queue. Whereas this is an admirable indication that they are prepared to invest in advertising, it does not necessarily follow that you will receive the best value for your money. Here is any easy way to narrow down your short list:
6. Establish Experience
Retype that which you originally searched for, into the search engine, and add one of the names you have recorded in your short list e.g. Motivating Speaker + His or Her Name.
Now you can determine whether that particular speaker has any expertise associated with the topic you are researching. You will also have an indication as whether or not an agent or bureau represents them.
7. Research Testimonials
Any speaker, worthy of consideration, will have a selection of testimonials from previous clients available for you to view on his or her website. Ensure companies and individuals are named. Descriptions such as ‘A senior manager at a large well-known company said….’, are of little to no value, and should start alarm bells ringing. Look for named sources from quality companies. Such individuals are usually very selective about whom they are to prepared recommend as their own reputation can be on the line.
8. Can they Motivate?
It may sound obvious, but the most important trait required by a motivational speaker is an ability to motivate. Tragically, some meetings organisers have previously discovered, to their considerable cost, that it does not necessarily follow that a professional speaker can motivate.
Nor can it be assumed that someone described as a ‘celebrity’ can be expected to somehow inspire your audience by simply turning up on the day. Motivational talks are a speciality based upon a science that is studied by few and practised by even less.
Ensure your choice has proven credentials, and don’t assume that members of a related, professional body, are somehow qualified and suitable. Minimal experience and the price of a membership fee are all that is required, in qualification, to becoming members of some such organisations.
Being published on the subject of interest, through a reputable source, is a good indication of expertise on a particular topic. Use the method described in Tip 6 above to obtain a quick and easy result.
Ideally, watch videos of the person performing, and listen to the audience reaction to determine whether he or she has a rapport with the audience. Rapport and humour are essential ingredients in the motivational cake.
9. Cost Issues
Ideally you should have some idea of a speaker fee budget before commencing your search. The professional costs in hiring a motivational speaker can vary dramatically and are dependent on the location of venue, numbers of delegates attending, the duration of the required speech and the quality and popularity of the speaker. My advice is this – if your meeting is worth holding it is worth investing in an experienced, proven, motivational speaker. Paying the little bit more often produces an immensely worthwhile investment.
Whether you deal with the speaker direct, or through an agent or bureau, should purely be a matter of choice. In theory fees, quoted from an agent, bureau or speaker, should be the same.
If you are interested in a celebrity speaker you are unlikely to find direct contact details for that person, and your only line of enquiry will be through an agent or bureau.
Agents that actively promote a speaker have a good idea of the fee normally required to secure a speaker’s services and will share that figure with you when you make your initial enquiry. It is wise to obtain an all-in-fee from an agent.
A bureau’s commission is obtained from the speaker. This commission can vary but normally falls between 15% and 30% of the fee for the appearance. If they do not have a particular speaker on their books they are usually happy to trace them and make any arrangements on your behalf.
Few professional speakers work with only one agent or bureau. If there is no mention of exclusivity on promotional material you can assume there is not. This, in effect means, that if you come across a speaker of your choice, and he or she supplies contact details, this is an implied permission for you to contact him or her direct and independently negotiate a speaker fee. Your aim should be to obtain value for money.
10. Information Required by a Motivational Speaker.
If you are contacting a speaker direct, and you have researched him or her as advised, you will be confident in knowing you are speaking with the right person for the job.
Should you decide on taking the agent or bureau route, the first thing you need to make perfectly clear, for the reasons described in Tip 8 above, is that you are seeking a motivational speaker.
Next supply the date of the event. Top speakers are very popular and you can save yourself a lot of time, and disappointment, by establishing their availability early in the proceedings. It is perfectly acceptable to ask if you can provisionally hold a particular speaker until a final decision is made.
Good meetings organisers will usually provide a description of the objectives and purpose of a conference, venue, size and type of audience and the duration of the talk required. The objectives are the desired outcomes of the event.
The best speakers provide tried and tested presentations that are skilfully adapted to fit in with the theme of your meeting and will usually meet your requirements fully. For your own peace-of-mind obtain a written agreement of the terms agreed and, were possible, a guarantee of total satisfaction.
To Summarise
a) Use a search engine to source a motivating speaker.
b) Produce a short list of potential speakers.
c) Establish credibility by including their name and area of expertise in a further search of the web.
d) Where possible watch videos of the speakers in action to determine whether they establish a rapport with the audience and their overall style of delivery is as required.
e) Check for quality, named testimonials provided by previous clients.
f) Contact the speaker, agent or bureau and establish availability, cost etc.
g) Supply the necessary information.
h) Obtain some form of contract with a guarantee of satisfaction were possible.
So there you have it; ten top tips on acquiring a motivational speaker. I wish you every success in your search.
Saturday, 24 May 2008
Humour – Ten Top Tips on How to be Inspiring and Funny
Many people believe that inspiring comedians are born funny. Nothing is further from the truth. Some develop the skill as children as a method of dealing with school bullies, and the everyday anguish growing-up causes so many of us. Others began studying the subject after realising how powerful a tool it is in entertaining and delighting an audience.
After-Dinner entertainer and humorous, motivating, conference speaker on change management, John Bell, offers some top tips on how to be funny with motivational humour.
1. Help solve other people’s problems, and you build an instant rapport with them. Here lies the basis on which being funny germinates, and then later grows.
There is little difference in people. Make fun of your own problems, and an audience will empathise, mainly because they have very similar problems to you. By helping them to come to terms with their own problems you help them in dealing with, what can be for them, a difficult dilemma they would, under normal circumstances, prefer not to think about.
2. For those doing the laughing, and for that matter comedians too, humour is a great escape from reality. The comedian befriends an audience, much as a circus clown does with children. Here lies another clue as to what humour is – not is not so much to do with the words used but with vocal expression, character exaggeration, comic timing, and pregnant pauses so full of meaning.
3. The next time you watch a favourite comedian note how they are not afraid to laugh at themselves. This is because humour is a universal human activity that allows the comedian to become a philosophical spectator of his or her own life in relation to those they have around them. Listen carefully to the content of comedy, and you may notice that the most popular topics often revolve around friends (including newly formed quasi friends found in the audience), and family.
4. The props used by the circus clown to humour children are not so effective with adults. Scene setting, such as a public bar, is tolerated but it is the comedian’s ‘unique’ personality that must shine through. Have you ever thought about how many top comedians have similar acts? Non. Success in humour is about being unique.
5. Being funny is seriously hard work. Many that fail at being funny do so because they don’t work hard enough at it. Comedy is no different to any other skill. The ‘fortunate few funny folk’ having all the lucky breaks is nonsense. Luck plays little part in whether or not you are likely to succeed as a comedian. It was Gary Player who said, “The more I practise the luckier I get”. This is as true in comedy as it is in golf.
6. Good humour never stops growing. It is a baby conceived in the mind of the comedian, that is nurtured to adulthood, and often only dies with the demise of the creator.
The best comedians are constantly reworking their best material. They may be at the top of their profession but they never stop asking the question “How can I make this mediocre story better?” Theirs is a quest for perfection that never comes.
Writing good material sometimes requires an ability to let go of ‘the baby’. Comedians often fear culling their best stories, but have come to realise that effective comedy production requires an ability to prune to facilitate the promotion of new growth.
Funny people strive to be ever funnier. It is a lifelong apprenticeship that few have the resolve to complete.
7. What is, and what is not funny, fluctuates with the years, and is generally accepted as being a subjective test.
Quick-witted ‘one-liners’ are still in fashion, whereas jokes are not. The “These three men went into a pub…” type stories are currently out of vogue and will create a chorus of cringes, as many would-be comedians have found, unfortunately, too late to save their delicate feelings.
8. Producing funny material takes practise and is primarily a personal preference thereby creating the uniqueness I described earlier. Here are a few suggestions as to how you can go about creating your own unique repertoire.
I work on a simplistic definition of the psychology of humour as being ‘the study of the human mind and prediction of behaviour’.
To make a situation humorous the audience must first predict some outcome and then be humoured with a punch line that nudges them off the expected route.
The next time you watch or listen to a favourite comedian be much more analytical about what it is they are saying and try to work out why it is so funny. Let’s take a favourite comedian of mine, Woody Allen. Here is a short extract from one of his routines and I would like you to analyse the construction of his story:
“When I was little boy, I wanted a dog desperately, and we had no money. I was a tiny kid, and my parents couldn't get me a dog, 'cause we just didn't have the money, so they got me, instead of a dog - they told me it was a dog - they got me an ant. And I didn't know any better, y'know, I thought it was a dog, I was a dumb kid. Called it 'Spot'. I trained it, y'know. Coming home late one night, Sheldon Finklestein tried to bully me. Spot was with me. And I said "Kill!", and Sheldon stepped on my dog.”
Think about some of the tips I have already provided. Take the full stops is Woody’s story as being the pauses I described. Does he build empathy by describing a situation that was similar to a problem you may once have had?
Is he making fun of his own problems?
Does he appear to be laughing at himself?
Is he a philosophical spectator of his own life in relation to those around him?
What relationship is he to the other characters in the story?
True comedy is the practically enacted theory of the absurdities so often found in human relationships and is usually related to a ‘twist’ in the story. This is what ‘funny’ is.
9. The ‘twist’ takes the story away from the norm (the predicted path), and makes it humorous. Woody’s dog becomes an ant. As the story unfolds Woody creates a movie in your mind. You are there with him as Finklestein tries to bully him and Spot is instructed to Kill!
Funny people have the ability to have ‘fun’ with literal meanings. It is said they see the funny side of everything. I agree they do, but only when they set the mind to the task. Comedians are performers. Meet them whilst doing the shopping with their spouse and kids and you will find they appear and sound no different to anyone else.
Yet something in that shopping centre may germinate the seed of an idea in the comedian’s mind that they will propagate for weeks to come and may eventually grow to maturity and bear fruit. For comedians, life is full of ‘waiting to be discovered’ humour.
Take any situation and think of alternative meanings to make it humorous. Here’s an example. “I was on my way to the shops and your dog went for me!” Think of alternate meaning to ‘your dog went for me’ i.e. the dog attempted to bite him, and reply “that’s impressive; it never went to the shops for me before!” The listener is nudged from the predicted path making the story humorous.
10. My final top tip on being funny is related to having the confidence to be funny. Confidence is a state of mind. It is what you believe. Your beliefs are mostly a matter of faith and apply in more areas than just the spiritual. Believe in yourself and it will strengthen your ability to make people laugh. Have that faith and you can realise your full potential. Stand-up, be funny and afterwards think carefully about how you can make your performance better and more inspiring the next time. Whatever you do – have fun doing it.
Learn more about John as an inspiring speaker by checking out his websites.
After-Dinner entertainer and humorous, motivating, conference speaker on change management, John Bell, offers some top tips on how to be funny with motivational humour.
1. Help solve other people’s problems, and you build an instant rapport with them. Here lies the basis on which being funny germinates, and then later grows.
There is little difference in people. Make fun of your own problems, and an audience will empathise, mainly because they have very similar problems to you. By helping them to come to terms with their own problems you help them in dealing with, what can be for them, a difficult dilemma they would, under normal circumstances, prefer not to think about.
2. For those doing the laughing, and for that matter comedians too, humour is a great escape from reality. The comedian befriends an audience, much as a circus clown does with children. Here lies another clue as to what humour is – not is not so much to do with the words used but with vocal expression, character exaggeration, comic timing, and pregnant pauses so full of meaning.
3. The next time you watch a favourite comedian note how they are not afraid to laugh at themselves. This is because humour is a universal human activity that allows the comedian to become a philosophical spectator of his or her own life in relation to those they have around them. Listen carefully to the content of comedy, and you may notice that the most popular topics often revolve around friends (including newly formed quasi friends found in the audience), and family.
4. The props used by the circus clown to humour children are not so effective with adults. Scene setting, such as a public bar, is tolerated but it is the comedian’s ‘unique’ personality that must shine through. Have you ever thought about how many top comedians have similar acts? Non. Success in humour is about being unique.
5. Being funny is seriously hard work. Many that fail at being funny do so because they don’t work hard enough at it. Comedy is no different to any other skill. The ‘fortunate few funny folk’ having all the lucky breaks is nonsense. Luck plays little part in whether or not you are likely to succeed as a comedian. It was Gary Player who said, “The more I practise the luckier I get”. This is as true in comedy as it is in golf.
6. Good humour never stops growing. It is a baby conceived in the mind of the comedian, that is nurtured to adulthood, and often only dies with the demise of the creator.
The best comedians are constantly reworking their best material. They may be at the top of their profession but they never stop asking the question “How can I make this mediocre story better?” Theirs is a quest for perfection that never comes.
Writing good material sometimes requires an ability to let go of ‘the baby’. Comedians often fear culling their best stories, but have come to realise that effective comedy production requires an ability to prune to facilitate the promotion of new growth.
Funny people strive to be ever funnier. It is a lifelong apprenticeship that few have the resolve to complete.
7. What is, and what is not funny, fluctuates with the years, and is generally accepted as being a subjective test.
Quick-witted ‘one-liners’ are still in fashion, whereas jokes are not. The “These three men went into a pub…” type stories are currently out of vogue and will create a chorus of cringes, as many would-be comedians have found, unfortunately, too late to save their delicate feelings.
8. Producing funny material takes practise and is primarily a personal preference thereby creating the uniqueness I described earlier. Here are a few suggestions as to how you can go about creating your own unique repertoire.
I work on a simplistic definition of the psychology of humour as being ‘the study of the human mind and prediction of behaviour’.
To make a situation humorous the audience must first predict some outcome and then be humoured with a punch line that nudges them off the expected route.
The next time you watch or listen to a favourite comedian be much more analytical about what it is they are saying and try to work out why it is so funny. Let’s take a favourite comedian of mine, Woody Allen. Here is a short extract from one of his routines and I would like you to analyse the construction of his story:
“When I was little boy, I wanted a dog desperately, and we had no money. I was a tiny kid, and my parents couldn't get me a dog, 'cause we just didn't have the money, so they got me, instead of a dog - they told me it was a dog - they got me an ant. And I didn't know any better, y'know, I thought it was a dog, I was a dumb kid. Called it 'Spot'. I trained it, y'know. Coming home late one night, Sheldon Finklestein tried to bully me. Spot was with me. And I said "Kill!", and Sheldon stepped on my dog.”
Think about some of the tips I have already provided. Take the full stops is Woody’s story as being the pauses I described. Does he build empathy by describing a situation that was similar to a problem you may once have had?
Is he making fun of his own problems?
Does he appear to be laughing at himself?
Is he a philosophical spectator of his own life in relation to those around him?
What relationship is he to the other characters in the story?
True comedy is the practically enacted theory of the absurdities so often found in human relationships and is usually related to a ‘twist’ in the story. This is what ‘funny’ is.
9. The ‘twist’ takes the story away from the norm (the predicted path), and makes it humorous. Woody’s dog becomes an ant. As the story unfolds Woody creates a movie in your mind. You are there with him as Finklestein tries to bully him and Spot is instructed to Kill!
Funny people have the ability to have ‘fun’ with literal meanings. It is said they see the funny side of everything. I agree they do, but only when they set the mind to the task. Comedians are performers. Meet them whilst doing the shopping with their spouse and kids and you will find they appear and sound no different to anyone else.
Yet something in that shopping centre may germinate the seed of an idea in the comedian’s mind that they will propagate for weeks to come and may eventually grow to maturity and bear fruit. For comedians, life is full of ‘waiting to be discovered’ humour.
Take any situation and think of alternative meanings to make it humorous. Here’s an example. “I was on my way to the shops and your dog went for me!” Think of alternate meaning to ‘your dog went for me’ i.e. the dog attempted to bite him, and reply “that’s impressive; it never went to the shops for me before!” The listener is nudged from the predicted path making the story humorous.
10. My final top tip on being funny is related to having the confidence to be funny. Confidence is a state of mind. It is what you believe. Your beliefs are mostly a matter of faith and apply in more areas than just the spiritual. Believe in yourself and it will strengthen your ability to make people laugh. Have that faith and you can realise your full potential. Stand-up, be funny and afterwards think carefully about how you can make your performance better and more inspiring the next time. Whatever you do – have fun doing it.
Learn more about John as an inspiring speaker by checking out his websites.
Friday, 16 May 2008
Motivating Staff Explained
The main difference between companies that continuously succeed and those that seem to be forever floundering can often be traced back to a level of motivation held by the staff. This article describes how to go about inspiring and motivating your workforce.
If a workforce is motivated, success usually follows, which in turn inspires and further motivates the employees to yet further success. Successful companies go into a self-perpetuating motion that brings more and more success and the associated rewards.
Take a few moments now to think about one or two of the successful companies you know of and consider whether what I say is correct.
Hopefully you agree that high motivation is inseparable from success. By taking a conscious control of the level of employee motivation in your company you are assisting your staff to step outside of a comfort zone that may be condemning your company to stagnate through procrastination.
I used to procrastinate a lot. I’m not so sure now!
Motivation is connected to staff development and learning in that it involves an intentional process to bring about the desired outcomes. In other words - some action is required.
Ideally, you want your staff to be self-motivated, purposeful in their tasks, with the minimum of direct supervision. If you achieve this you will find that motivation is something that will help you through the inevitable difficult times all companies face on occasions.
Motivation is predominately an extrinsic condition. Your employees are beings that respond primarily to some form of external stimuli usually from a motivator. At a basic level most managers choose the ‘carrot or the stick’ method.
There are numerous rules connected to effective, motivational management. Too many to go into in this short article but, by way of example, managers must ‘praise in public’ and ‘chastise in private’.
Get the level of motivation right and you will find it is the glue that holds the success of your business together. It is a way of thinking that needs to permeate the whole philosophy of the company on a day-to-day basis. Once again think about successful companies, picture their staff in the work environment, and you will know what I mean.
I know it’s not easy - motivation is an extremely complex concept. It is a science that has been investigated and studied over the decades in many ways by many people. Perhaps one of the better-known scientists to research this thing called motivation is Abraham Maslow.
Carrying out research in the 1940s, Maslow identified five levels of needs that drive and motivate people’s behaviour. They are:
1. Physiological needs (e.g. a sheltered place for work, a comfortable temperature, etc.),
2. Safety needs (for job and personal security),
3. A sense of belonging (affection and identification in a team),
4. The need for esteem (prestige, success and self-respect)
5. The last, and perhaps one of the most important where company success is involved, is the need for self-actualisation. By this he refers to the instinctual need of employees to make the most of their abilities and to strive to be the best they can. Your people want to be motivated they may simply not know how to go about getting it!
Here’s How You Can Help
You will motivate your staff if you help them work toward fulfilling their potential at a level they are capable of becoming.
This is where the difficulty often lies for many managers – if staff are not motivated enough they may fail to reach their true potential.
Pushed too far beyond their capability and they become de-motivated and will often complain to others of bullying taking place at work.
Successful motivation is achieved when people perform well whilst still within their limitations. This is achieved when they are productive and appear to do be doing so with relative ease.
Motivation is something that is an essential part of your people’s day-to-day lives. It provides the 'get up and go' that helps them get out of bed in the morning and look forward to their day at work. Yes, you did read that right!
People can be conditioned to enjoy work and look forward to helping you and your company succeed. If members of your staff have a negative attitude they need to be taught how to acquire a positive one. People often need to be motivated to adopt and then display a positive attitude.
When initiating change management training, make sure you also supply the necessary motivation. Without the inspiration to implement improvement, little will change. Your staff needs to be motivated to give them an unswerving faith that they can succeed above and beyond their own often-mundane expectations.
The taking of some intended action by a motivator initially precipitates motivation in others. Done correctly it will create a visible energy, which in turn drives staff forward. It can also become contagious, as other staff members ‘catch’ the appropriate, desired behaviour.
Take that action today. The old mantra, ‘I’ll start tomorrow’ doesn’t work. Tomorrow never comes as it always refers to sometime in the future.
To motivate is too important to be left for the unforeseeable future. Motivation is the most important factor in the whole concept of effective, business management. It is worthy of substantial investment – general training is not enough.
Whereas the type of personality your staff displays in the work environment may represent the way they behave, their level of motivation is directly related to why they behave in that particular way.
Motivation is a state of mind that is influenced by our working environment and those people we work with. The saying ‘one bad apple will rot the barrel’ is as true in the work environment as it is in any other walk of life. One un-motivated individual in an organisation is like a cancer that needs to be treated or cut out.
Staff who declare ‘This is just the way I am. I can’t change’ are mistaken. They choose their behaviour and therefore they can be motivated to change such behaviour for the better. Motivation is not a trait but a thought pattern. It is initially formed in the subconscious part of the brain and goes on to effect conscious thought. As stage hypnotists know, and continuously demonstrate, the subconscious mind can be manipulated.
Correctly motivate such individuals and you will install an internal energy force that determines all aspects of their future behaviour at work and will impact on how they think, feel and interact with other members of staff. This in turn will help motivate those other members of staff.
Motivation is the force that makes us behave in a particular way. Inspiration is what a motivator provides to help an individual complete the necessary changes successfully. The method used to achieve such desired behaviour varies from person to person but is often achieved in a ‘safe’ group situation where an individual can come to terms with the fact that their behaviour is not ideal, thereby allowing non-confrontational change to take place. It can be, and often is, on a subconscious level.
Humour is also a useful tool to bring about changes in a person’s behaviour. It makes uncomfortable situations more comfortable. It allows individuals to laugh no matter how grim work becomes. It is such a nice feeling people will pay money to others to make them laugh. That could be useful, having your staff pay you for the privilege of working at you company! Nice feeling isn’t it?
Laughter is cathartic; in that it encourages an individual to purge their problems and painful emotions through the joy of laughing.
Motivate your staff by making them laugh.
Motivation is influenced by our personal perceptions of a situation and strengthened by many other factors that create the inspiration to do, or not to do something.
Most working environments have members of staff referred to as the ‘likeable rouge’. They normally achieve this title by being rebellious whilst making others laugh. This can make them difficult to deal with, as they are usually popular with the majority of staff. Such characters can be mind-trained to reduce their ‘rouge’ image whilst retaining the ‘likeable’ benefits they bring through creating laughter and fun in the work place.
You may have noticed that different things also motivate your staff at different times in their lives. This is at the very heart of personal effectiveness. When you are highly motivated about what you are doing, you have great enthusiasm and energy, everything seems to be much easier and you advance by leaps and bounds. Good managers are those who notice slight undesired changes in a member of staff’s behaviour and, where appropriate, offer help and understanding to assist them through what may be a particularly difficult time in their life.
Help your staff through their problem(s) and you will provide the motivation that allows an internal process to make them move toward a greater sense of satisfaction. Achieving satisfaction is a goal-directed behaviour.
In business, the most expensive asset you possess is your human resources. If your goal is to achieve rapid and continuous success for your company you need to invest in the motivation of your staff. Decide what it is you wish to achieve and then initiate some action. Do it now as tomorrow never comes!
If a workforce is motivated, success usually follows, which in turn inspires and further motivates the employees to yet further success. Successful companies go into a self-perpetuating motion that brings more and more success and the associated rewards.
Take a few moments now to think about one or two of the successful companies you know of and consider whether what I say is correct.
Hopefully you agree that high motivation is inseparable from success. By taking a conscious control of the level of employee motivation in your company you are assisting your staff to step outside of a comfort zone that may be condemning your company to stagnate through procrastination.
I used to procrastinate a lot. I’m not so sure now!
Motivation is connected to staff development and learning in that it involves an intentional process to bring about the desired outcomes. In other words - some action is required.
Ideally, you want your staff to be self-motivated, purposeful in their tasks, with the minimum of direct supervision. If you achieve this you will find that motivation is something that will help you through the inevitable difficult times all companies face on occasions.
Motivation is predominately an extrinsic condition. Your employees are beings that respond primarily to some form of external stimuli usually from a motivator. At a basic level most managers choose the ‘carrot or the stick’ method.
There are numerous rules connected to effective, motivational management. Too many to go into in this short article but, by way of example, managers must ‘praise in public’ and ‘chastise in private’.
Get the level of motivation right and you will find it is the glue that holds the success of your business together. It is a way of thinking that needs to permeate the whole philosophy of the company on a day-to-day basis. Once again think about successful companies, picture their staff in the work environment, and you will know what I mean.
I know it’s not easy - motivation is an extremely complex concept. It is a science that has been investigated and studied over the decades in many ways by many people. Perhaps one of the better-known scientists to research this thing called motivation is Abraham Maslow.
Carrying out research in the 1940s, Maslow identified five levels of needs that drive and motivate people’s behaviour. They are:
1. Physiological needs (e.g. a sheltered place for work, a comfortable temperature, etc.),
2. Safety needs (for job and personal security),
3. A sense of belonging (affection and identification in a team),
4. The need for esteem (prestige, success and self-respect)
5. The last, and perhaps one of the most important where company success is involved, is the need for self-actualisation. By this he refers to the instinctual need of employees to make the most of their abilities and to strive to be the best they can. Your people want to be motivated they may simply not know how to go about getting it!
Here’s How You Can Help
You will motivate your staff if you help them work toward fulfilling their potential at a level they are capable of becoming.
This is where the difficulty often lies for many managers – if staff are not motivated enough they may fail to reach their true potential.
Pushed too far beyond their capability and they become de-motivated and will often complain to others of bullying taking place at work.
Successful motivation is achieved when people perform well whilst still within their limitations. This is achieved when they are productive and appear to do be doing so with relative ease.
Motivation is something that is an essential part of your people’s day-to-day lives. It provides the 'get up and go' that helps them get out of bed in the morning and look forward to their day at work. Yes, you did read that right!
People can be conditioned to enjoy work and look forward to helping you and your company succeed. If members of your staff have a negative attitude they need to be taught how to acquire a positive one. People often need to be motivated to adopt and then display a positive attitude.
When initiating change management training, make sure you also supply the necessary motivation. Without the inspiration to implement improvement, little will change. Your staff needs to be motivated to give them an unswerving faith that they can succeed above and beyond their own often-mundane expectations.
The taking of some intended action by a motivator initially precipitates motivation in others. Done correctly it will create a visible energy, which in turn drives staff forward. It can also become contagious, as other staff members ‘catch’ the appropriate, desired behaviour.
Take that action today. The old mantra, ‘I’ll start tomorrow’ doesn’t work. Tomorrow never comes as it always refers to sometime in the future.
To motivate is too important to be left for the unforeseeable future. Motivation is the most important factor in the whole concept of effective, business management. It is worthy of substantial investment – general training is not enough.
Whereas the type of personality your staff displays in the work environment may represent the way they behave, their level of motivation is directly related to why they behave in that particular way.
Motivation is a state of mind that is influenced by our working environment and those people we work with. The saying ‘one bad apple will rot the barrel’ is as true in the work environment as it is in any other walk of life. One un-motivated individual in an organisation is like a cancer that needs to be treated or cut out.
Staff who declare ‘This is just the way I am. I can’t change’ are mistaken. They choose their behaviour and therefore they can be motivated to change such behaviour for the better. Motivation is not a trait but a thought pattern. It is initially formed in the subconscious part of the brain and goes on to effect conscious thought. As stage hypnotists know, and continuously demonstrate, the subconscious mind can be manipulated.
Correctly motivate such individuals and you will install an internal energy force that determines all aspects of their future behaviour at work and will impact on how they think, feel and interact with other members of staff. This in turn will help motivate those other members of staff.
Motivation is the force that makes us behave in a particular way. Inspiration is what a motivator provides to help an individual complete the necessary changes successfully. The method used to achieve such desired behaviour varies from person to person but is often achieved in a ‘safe’ group situation where an individual can come to terms with the fact that their behaviour is not ideal, thereby allowing non-confrontational change to take place. It can be, and often is, on a subconscious level.
Humour is also a useful tool to bring about changes in a person’s behaviour. It makes uncomfortable situations more comfortable. It allows individuals to laugh no matter how grim work becomes. It is such a nice feeling people will pay money to others to make them laugh. That could be useful, having your staff pay you for the privilege of working at you company! Nice feeling isn’t it?
Laughter is cathartic; in that it encourages an individual to purge their problems and painful emotions through the joy of laughing.
Motivate your staff by making them laugh.
Motivation is influenced by our personal perceptions of a situation and strengthened by many other factors that create the inspiration to do, or not to do something.
Most working environments have members of staff referred to as the ‘likeable rouge’. They normally achieve this title by being rebellious whilst making others laugh. This can make them difficult to deal with, as they are usually popular with the majority of staff. Such characters can be mind-trained to reduce their ‘rouge’ image whilst retaining the ‘likeable’ benefits they bring through creating laughter and fun in the work place.
You may have noticed that different things also motivate your staff at different times in their lives. This is at the very heart of personal effectiveness. When you are highly motivated about what you are doing, you have great enthusiasm and energy, everything seems to be much easier and you advance by leaps and bounds. Good managers are those who notice slight undesired changes in a member of staff’s behaviour and, where appropriate, offer help and understanding to assist them through what may be a particularly difficult time in their life.
Help your staff through their problem(s) and you will provide the motivation that allows an internal process to make them move toward a greater sense of satisfaction. Achieving satisfaction is a goal-directed behaviour.
In business, the most expensive asset you possess is your human resources. If your goal is to achieve rapid and continuous success for your company you need to invest in the motivation of your staff. Decide what it is you wish to achieve and then initiate some action. Do it now as tomorrow never comes!
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Confidence and Self-esteem are Talked about Lots – But What do They Mean & How do You Acquire Them?
Confidence and Self-esteem are Talked about Lots – But What do They Mean & How do You Acquire Them?
Mankind has long recognised that not everything can be subjected to scientific examination and proof - particularly in relation to matters of the mind. In this article former stage hypnotist and now motivational, conference speaker John Bell gives his thoughts on the subject of self-esteem and confidence.
Self-esteem has much to do with a confidence in your own merit as an individual. It is about how you value and appreciate yourself, a value we attribute to our own self-image.
People that succeed in life are usually considered to have a high self-esteem and a positive mental attitude. They come over to others as being self-confident in their ability to succeed at what it is they are doing. Confidence is not so much about thinking you are in some way better than everyone else, but is a belief in your attributes and, where necessary, sufficient faith to put those attributes into action.
As a psychological quality, self-esteem is not something you can turn on and off like a light. It has however, something to do with a method of thinking that can be taught and, when practised, can become self-perpetuating, resulting in a noticeable improvement in confidence. Once acquired it becomes one of the most important attributes you can nurture in life.
If an individual can be encourage to develop a high self-esteem he or she will learn how to become more self reliant and confident in their ability, not only to cope, but to excel at whatever it is they wish to achieve. It is not an arrogance or vanity. It is an ability to be assertive where necessary without coming over as overly aggressive. High self-esteem and confidence are traits that are admired by most and desired by many.
They are an inner state of dignity that is externally displayed to others. People like to be around those who exude high self-esteem and confidence. Such people have an aura that indicates a high level of self-worth. It comes over to others as an admired confidence and general feeling of well-being. It is about feeling good about ones self and can have a direct effect on all things in life - including work and social relationships.
Others measure your level of confidence in a number of different ways. It effects how you physically appear. Negative non-verbal communication (NVC) suggests a low-level of confidence. Become more conscious of the NVC you may be displaying and you can start having more control over how others perceive you. Crouch forward as you walk and observers will think differently towards you were they to see you to walk with straight back and head held high. Too high and people may think you were quite literally ‘looking down your nose at them’.
The level of self-confidence an individual has can often be connected to impressions he holds about himself and are based on his successes and failures. Failure, if not checked, can breed further failure.
Self-esteem can also be affected by the way people perceive themselves physically. If a person views their appearance in a negative light, this is likely to reflect in their body language, and will make them appear far less confident. A high self-esteem is a vital ingredient in this thing we call ‘success’. The way you feel about yourself has an effect upon the way you feel about others, and the way they feel about you. These feelings become part of our beliefs.
Beliefs are often a matter of faith. This applies in more areas than just the spiritual. We need to believe in ourselves, in our own abilities and strengths. Without that belief we are weakened and are unlikely to realise our full potential. It's about being whom we ‘believe’ we are.
If you were able to harness your self-esteem do you agree that your levels of confidence would surely follow? Can you imagine the huge benefits such ability could have? This phenomenon has something to do with something known as the ‘Placebo Effect’.
Before each and every medication produced by pharmaceutical companies can be offered for sale it has to be thoroughly tested. One such test is to measure the effectiveness of the medication against a control, known as a placebo. A placebo, in this context, is a medicine, pill or potion that has absolutely no medicinal qualities whatever. In effect, it is a ‘sugar pill.’
It has long been recognised that if a patient truly believes that a pharmacologically inactive substance has an ability to cure, then, amazingly, it can, and often does. Research has shown that the power of the human mind has the ability to make people better. It also has the capability to dramatically improve self-esteem and confidence.
As a former stage hypnotist I can give dozens of examples of how the mind consistently proves that it can control the body. For now please accept that it can.
In my book ‘How to Negotiate Through the Power of the Placebo’ I wrote how when we take a placebo we are not told that it is such; our subconscious mind is convinced by our conscious mind that the medicine is going to help us recover from illness. We have faith in the medicine, for we don’t know that it is inert. Our recovery therefore comes from within, and it is the power of the subconscious that heals us. The purveyors of so called quack medicines relied on this to succeed in selling their products, which were often little more than coloured sugar water.
The subconscious part of the brain is like a sponge. It absorbs information uncritically. Normally, we have no control over what it soaks up and thus have no means of directly influencing it. The conscious part of our mind acts like a gatekeeper and tries to filter and make sense of what our subconscious is saying. When we have vivid dreams our conscious mind is off duty and we are flooded with the apparent chaos of the contents of the subconscious.
If we can find ways to convince the subconscious that certain things are true we will have found a route that opens up enormous possibilities. Some of these routes to the subconscious I describe in my book. For now, put quite simply, it is possible to directly influence the subconscious mind by using inert, harmless, placebo-like techniques.
Confidence and self-esteem are much about having a belief, a faith in our own ability. I work internationally as a motivational, conference speaker. Standing in front of large audiences of intelligent and often well-educated delegates and then entertaining them whilst educating, motivating and inspiring them is not natural. I was not born with such ability. Any confidence I exude is a trait I discovered, developed and now gladly share with others. Not only do I practise what I preach, I am also preaching what I practise.
When invited to provide ‘In-House’ training for clients my main role is usually to inspire and motivate staff to greater things. I achieve this through a tried and tested system of internal and external factors. I provide them with an improved level of self-confidence that empowers them with a realistic and positive view of themselves. I am recharging their batteries so that the lights of self-esteem can glow bright again. This is of course assuming a glow was there to begin with! If not, fear not, all is not lost.
Self-esteem and confidence can be acquired and then should be practised regularly. They are rooted in identity reinforcement and are the very foundation upon which members of staff begin to build and grow.
Establish a high level of self-esteem in employees and improved self-confidence will surely follow. Confident staff are more motivated staff and levels of motivation usually have a direct link to success and failure.
I hope you have found this article useful and perhaps now realise that self-esteem and confidence are too important as traits to be left to chance. If improvement in self-esteem and confidence are required, be they for yourself or others, they are likely to initially require some form of action on your part. There is no time like the present. Do it NOW!
Mankind has long recognised that not everything can be subjected to scientific examination and proof - particularly in relation to matters of the mind. In this article former stage hypnotist and now motivational, conference speaker John Bell gives his thoughts on the subject of self-esteem and confidence.
Self-esteem has much to do with a confidence in your own merit as an individual. It is about how you value and appreciate yourself, a value we attribute to our own self-image.
People that succeed in life are usually considered to have a high self-esteem and a positive mental attitude. They come over to others as being self-confident in their ability to succeed at what it is they are doing. Confidence is not so much about thinking you are in some way better than everyone else, but is a belief in your attributes and, where necessary, sufficient faith to put those attributes into action.
As a psychological quality, self-esteem is not something you can turn on and off like a light. It has however, something to do with a method of thinking that can be taught and, when practised, can become self-perpetuating, resulting in a noticeable improvement in confidence. Once acquired it becomes one of the most important attributes you can nurture in life.
If an individual can be encourage to develop a high self-esteem he or she will learn how to become more self reliant and confident in their ability, not only to cope, but to excel at whatever it is they wish to achieve. It is not an arrogance or vanity. It is an ability to be assertive where necessary without coming over as overly aggressive. High self-esteem and confidence are traits that are admired by most and desired by many.
They are an inner state of dignity that is externally displayed to others. People like to be around those who exude high self-esteem and confidence. Such people have an aura that indicates a high level of self-worth. It comes over to others as an admired confidence and general feeling of well-being. It is about feeling good about ones self and can have a direct effect on all things in life - including work and social relationships.
Others measure your level of confidence in a number of different ways. It effects how you physically appear. Negative non-verbal communication (NVC) suggests a low-level of confidence. Become more conscious of the NVC you may be displaying and you can start having more control over how others perceive you. Crouch forward as you walk and observers will think differently towards you were they to see you to walk with straight back and head held high. Too high and people may think you were quite literally ‘looking down your nose at them’.
The level of self-confidence an individual has can often be connected to impressions he holds about himself and are based on his successes and failures. Failure, if not checked, can breed further failure.
Self-esteem can also be affected by the way people perceive themselves physically. If a person views their appearance in a negative light, this is likely to reflect in their body language, and will make them appear far less confident. A high self-esteem is a vital ingredient in this thing we call ‘success’. The way you feel about yourself has an effect upon the way you feel about others, and the way they feel about you. These feelings become part of our beliefs.
Beliefs are often a matter of faith. This applies in more areas than just the spiritual. We need to believe in ourselves, in our own abilities and strengths. Without that belief we are weakened and are unlikely to realise our full potential. It's about being whom we ‘believe’ we are.
If you were able to harness your self-esteem do you agree that your levels of confidence would surely follow? Can you imagine the huge benefits such ability could have? This phenomenon has something to do with something known as the ‘Placebo Effect’.
Before each and every medication produced by pharmaceutical companies can be offered for sale it has to be thoroughly tested. One such test is to measure the effectiveness of the medication against a control, known as a placebo. A placebo, in this context, is a medicine, pill or potion that has absolutely no medicinal qualities whatever. In effect, it is a ‘sugar pill.’
It has long been recognised that if a patient truly believes that a pharmacologically inactive substance has an ability to cure, then, amazingly, it can, and often does. Research has shown that the power of the human mind has the ability to make people better. It also has the capability to dramatically improve self-esteem and confidence.
As a former stage hypnotist I can give dozens of examples of how the mind consistently proves that it can control the body. For now please accept that it can.
In my book ‘How to Negotiate Through the Power of the Placebo’ I wrote how when we take a placebo we are not told that it is such; our subconscious mind is convinced by our conscious mind that the medicine is going to help us recover from illness. We have faith in the medicine, for we don’t know that it is inert. Our recovery therefore comes from within, and it is the power of the subconscious that heals us. The purveyors of so called quack medicines relied on this to succeed in selling their products, which were often little more than coloured sugar water.
The subconscious part of the brain is like a sponge. It absorbs information uncritically. Normally, we have no control over what it soaks up and thus have no means of directly influencing it. The conscious part of our mind acts like a gatekeeper and tries to filter and make sense of what our subconscious is saying. When we have vivid dreams our conscious mind is off duty and we are flooded with the apparent chaos of the contents of the subconscious.
If we can find ways to convince the subconscious that certain things are true we will have found a route that opens up enormous possibilities. Some of these routes to the subconscious I describe in my book. For now, put quite simply, it is possible to directly influence the subconscious mind by using inert, harmless, placebo-like techniques.
Confidence and self-esteem are much about having a belief, a faith in our own ability. I work internationally as a motivational, conference speaker. Standing in front of large audiences of intelligent and often well-educated delegates and then entertaining them whilst educating, motivating and inspiring them is not natural. I was not born with such ability. Any confidence I exude is a trait I discovered, developed and now gladly share with others. Not only do I practise what I preach, I am also preaching what I practise.
When invited to provide ‘In-House’ training for clients my main role is usually to inspire and motivate staff to greater things. I achieve this through a tried and tested system of internal and external factors. I provide them with an improved level of self-confidence that empowers them with a realistic and positive view of themselves. I am recharging their batteries so that the lights of self-esteem can glow bright again. This is of course assuming a glow was there to begin with! If not, fear not, all is not lost.
Self-esteem and confidence can be acquired and then should be practised regularly. They are rooted in identity reinforcement and are the very foundation upon which members of staff begin to build and grow.
Establish a high level of self-esteem in employees and improved self-confidence will surely follow. Confident staff are more motivated staff and levels of motivation usually have a direct link to success and failure.
I hope you have found this article useful and perhaps now realise that self-esteem and confidence are too important as traits to be left to chance. If improvement in self-esteem and confidence are required, be they for yourself or others, they are likely to initially require some form of action on your part. There is no time like the present. Do it NOW!
Thursday, 1 May 2008
Motivate and Inspire Conference Audiences
Motivating talk expert John Bell describes how to motivate and inspire audiences. Using delegate evaluation scores he has been voted Best UK Conference Speaker of the Year on four occasions.
It can be flattering and exciting to have someone call and ask you to speak at a conference or convention. To get such a call suggests you are considered to be an expert in your particular field. If this were not the case you would not have received the call! However, being both a recognised expert and putting over your point to an audience in a constructive, educational and entertaining manner requires careful planning and a high degree of skills. Your aim ought to be to motivate and inspire the audience with your expertise and speaking ability.
There is a saying, ‘Failing to plan is planning to fail’. Your research and planning begins when you get that phone call. There are important initial questions you must ask the person who has contacted you if you are to stand any chance of success.
Firstly, the obvious - you need to know the date and venue of the conference. Asking this question at the beginning can save a lot of wasted time. Excitement at being offered the honour of representing a company at an important event can sometimes fog your usual clear thinking. Take into consideration the venue - if it is some distance away organisers will prefer you to arrive the day before. To do so removes the worry that you might be delayed en route to an airport or railway station. Ask the organiser if they would prefer you to arrive the day before. If they do, it may affect the fee you quote!
The next thing to establish is a title for your talk. Most organisers already have a rough idea for the theme or basis of your presentation. Agreeing the title of the talk with the organiser will allow you to focus your mind on content later. It is worth taking a little time here to clarify an important issue which, if not addressed at the outset, may later cause disappointment for the audience, yourself, and the organiser: there is a distinction between the title of your talk - sometimes referred to as topic - and the objectives of the organiser.
For example, the title of your talk may have been agreed as, let's say, ‘New Appliances in the Fight Against Asthma’. The title is a short overview of the topic. However, your client’s desire might be that by the end of your presentation, delegates attending the conference will have an understanding of the benefits of their new product. This is an important clarification in the early stages of the development of your presentation. From experience I have found the simplest way to clarify the object is to ask the organiser/client immediately after the title has been agreed. Ask them, ‘By the end of the presentation, what do you want delegates to be aware of?’ In other words, ‘what is the aim/objective of the talk?’
Your next move is to establish who will make up the bulk of the audience: what level are they in their organisations?, what skills do they possess?, etc. Knowing their level of knowledge will also be useful. Knowledge of the audience at an early stage is an important factor which can determine whether your client’s goals and objectives will be achieved. For example an audience of consultants specialising in asthma will have different learning priorities to trainee doctors. Pitching your presentation at the correct level is an important part of successful presentation.
Learning about your audience before you start, and preparing, before presenting are paramount. You need to know exactly who they are, as a group. For example, if you are told it is a conference for members of a profession, ask the organiser where the delegates stand in that organisation. As a generalisation, merely for the purpose of illustration, managers tend to have been trained as managers and have little to no knowledge of technical matters. Reception staff and administrators may know little about sales, and sales staff may not have a clue about financial matters, and so on.
It is important to establish not only who they are, but also what they are. If they are doctors, what is their level of knowledge likely to be on the subject you have been asked to present on? There is little point in talking to nurses for 45 minutes on a basic understanding of asthma if they are asthma specialists with a better understanding of the disease than some general practitioners (and probably you!).
Ask your client to establish what the audience are likely to want to know. Experts on asthma may be keen to learn about a new delivery method for asthma medication. Add information like this to what the client would like as a ‘go away with’ message and you are well on the way towards a successful speech.
Follow the tips I will provide in this the first in a series of articles on public speaking at conferences, conventions and seminars and you will deliver a polished presentation that motivates and inspires delegates.
It can be flattering and exciting to have someone call and ask you to speak at a conference or convention. To get such a call suggests you are considered to be an expert in your particular field. If this were not the case you would not have received the call! However, being both a recognised expert and putting over your point to an audience in a constructive, educational and entertaining manner requires careful planning and a high degree of skills. Your aim ought to be to motivate and inspire the audience with your expertise and speaking ability.
There is a saying, ‘Failing to plan is planning to fail’. Your research and planning begins when you get that phone call. There are important initial questions you must ask the person who has contacted you if you are to stand any chance of success.
Firstly, the obvious - you need to know the date and venue of the conference. Asking this question at the beginning can save a lot of wasted time. Excitement at being offered the honour of representing a company at an important event can sometimes fog your usual clear thinking. Take into consideration the venue - if it is some distance away organisers will prefer you to arrive the day before. To do so removes the worry that you might be delayed en route to an airport or railway station. Ask the organiser if they would prefer you to arrive the day before. If they do, it may affect the fee you quote!
The next thing to establish is a title for your talk. Most organisers already have a rough idea for the theme or basis of your presentation. Agreeing the title of the talk with the organiser will allow you to focus your mind on content later. It is worth taking a little time here to clarify an important issue which, if not addressed at the outset, may later cause disappointment for the audience, yourself, and the organiser: there is a distinction between the title of your talk - sometimes referred to as topic - and the objectives of the organiser.
For example, the title of your talk may have been agreed as, let's say, ‘New Appliances in the Fight Against Asthma’. The title is a short overview of the topic. However, your client’s desire might be that by the end of your presentation, delegates attending the conference will have an understanding of the benefits of their new product. This is an important clarification in the early stages of the development of your presentation. From experience I have found the simplest way to clarify the object is to ask the organiser/client immediately after the title has been agreed. Ask them, ‘By the end of the presentation, what do you want delegates to be aware of?’ In other words, ‘what is the aim/objective of the talk?’
Your next move is to establish who will make up the bulk of the audience: what level are they in their organisations?, what skills do they possess?, etc. Knowing their level of knowledge will also be useful. Knowledge of the audience at an early stage is an important factor which can determine whether your client’s goals and objectives will be achieved. For example an audience of consultants specialising in asthma will have different learning priorities to trainee doctors. Pitching your presentation at the correct level is an important part of successful presentation.
Learning about your audience before you start, and preparing, before presenting are paramount. You need to know exactly who they are, as a group. For example, if you are told it is a conference for members of a profession, ask the organiser where the delegates stand in that organisation. As a generalisation, merely for the purpose of illustration, managers tend to have been trained as managers and have little to no knowledge of technical matters. Reception staff and administrators may know little about sales, and sales staff may not have a clue about financial matters, and so on.
It is important to establish not only who they are, but also what they are. If they are doctors, what is their level of knowledge likely to be on the subject you have been asked to present on? There is little point in talking to nurses for 45 minutes on a basic understanding of asthma if they are asthma specialists with a better understanding of the disease than some general practitioners (and probably you!).
Ask your client to establish what the audience are likely to want to know. Experts on asthma may be keen to learn about a new delivery method for asthma medication. Add information like this to what the client would like as a ‘go away with’ message and you are well on the way towards a successful speech.
Follow the tips I will provide in this the first in a series of articles on public speaking at conferences, conventions and seminars and you will deliver a polished presentation that motivates and inspires delegates.
Humorous Talks
Humor is always linked to comedy. It is generally recognized as something acceptable to, and enjoyed by everyone, no matter what his or her age. Learning to smile is one of the first recognizable displayed characteristics of newborn babies. The rhythmic expulsion of air from the lungs is recognized as laughter in a matter of weeks following the birth, and is a primitive form of basic communication. Mother Nature has already equipped young babies with a powerful tool they can use to good advantage as a key factor in human bonding, the building of special relationships and social cohesion in the years that follow.
If asked, most people would state they had a good sense of humor. Used for professional entertainment it becomes an art, whether it is for business or pleasure. It requires careful planning and skilful delivery. I have learned from experience that such skills can be taught and then must be regularly practiced by those interested in becoming comedians.
Humor is totally subjective, always provoking, and generates different reactions from different people. Effective comedians are few and far between partly because what is funny to one person is not funny to another. The large majority of an audience must quickly consider they have some kind of rapport with a comedian. The best comedians are considered to be intellectual observers of human activity. They are philosophical spectators of the humorous anomalies found in life.
Making others laugh is a masterful skill that can change lives. People who can get others laughing are usually seen as being charismatic and are usually highly admired in society. Humor also takes a key part in the act of attraction. In many cultures giggling is often a sign of a secret sexual tension expressed by both men and women. You're giggling aren't you?
Humor makes uncomfortable situations more comfortable. It allows individuals to laugh no matter how grim living gets. It is such a nice feeling people will pay money to others to make them laugh. It is cathartic; it encourages an individual to purge their problems and painful emotions through the joy of laughter.
Study top comedians and you will soon realize that those skilled in delivering humor are great storytellers. Comedy is often based upon conflicting drama thrown up in life. It is not funny having to be funny. You need to be seriously funny to impress others. It is no joke. I mean that seriously.
Comedy and wit have little to do with an ability to tell jokes. People who 'tell jokes' are often seen as boring individuals with little sense of humor. They often begin their comedy routine with words along the line of ‘Have you heard the one about”? True comedy is the practically enacted theory of the absurdities so often found in human relationships.
Experienced comedians are not afraid to laugh at themselves because humor is a universal human activity that allows the comedian to become a philosophical spectator of his own life in relation to those around him. Popular topics often revolve around the boss, their children and/or their partner or spouse.
As a professional speaker I have two roles. As an after-dinner speaker my sole purpose is to entertain the audience. As a keynote, motivational presenter I become a serious speaker seeking to help my audience remember important messages by using humor as a powerful tool. I have learned from experience that even the most focussed of audiences have an attention span of less than seven minutes. By injecting humor into my talks I help my audience stay alert and absorb important material.
Laughter is the best medicine. Unless of course you are asthmatic when inhaled steroids are likely to come highest on your list. Which is why I am so popular with healthcare professionals. As the saying goes 'Physician heal thy self' this is exactly what I am helping to facilitate when I make my medical audiences laugh.
Laughter is a physiological response to a trigger I activate in the audience. Members of the medical profession are no different to anyone else. They regularly feel anxiety, stress and even anger. By making them laugh I pull on a laughter trigger that releases endorphins, which in turn, counteracts the unpleasantness they may be feeling at that moment in time. Furthermore, happy people feel good to be around. Patients can feel so much better simply by being around healthcare professionals who appear happy. Everyone hates a 'doctor death' character who always look as if they are about to give out bad news.
Laughter in the workplace is important too for the boosting of staff morale and for the increase in productivity that usually follows. A happy staff is a productive staff.
During the talks I give around the world I often use examples of humorous real-life examples from my own family relationships to illustrate the principles of human awareness. Looking at an audience I can usually tell those going through a difficult relationship. They are the miserable looking individuals who work so hard trying not to even smile when those around them are struggling to stem a flow of uncontrollable laughter. I always work on the principle 'you can't please all of the people all of the time'. I think Abraham Lincoln said that. Or was it Bob Dylan?
What I am in no doubt about is that laughter is the key to a happy marriage. If you are able to laugh at each other, it shows you are able to affectionately tease and play - something so important in all human relationships. Like comedy, a happy marriage takes effort.
In conclusion ~ humor is a fundamental basic in the art of effective public speaking. It can make the difference between a great talk with an enthusiastic audience and a disastrous monotonous monologue.
If asked, most people would state they had a good sense of humor. Used for professional entertainment it becomes an art, whether it is for business or pleasure. It requires careful planning and skilful delivery. I have learned from experience that such skills can be taught and then must be regularly practiced by those interested in becoming comedians.
Humor is totally subjective, always provoking, and generates different reactions from different people. Effective comedians are few and far between partly because what is funny to one person is not funny to another. The large majority of an audience must quickly consider they have some kind of rapport with a comedian. The best comedians are considered to be intellectual observers of human activity. They are philosophical spectators of the humorous anomalies found in life.
Making others laugh is a masterful skill that can change lives. People who can get others laughing are usually seen as being charismatic and are usually highly admired in society. Humor also takes a key part in the act of attraction. In many cultures giggling is often a sign of a secret sexual tension expressed by both men and women. You're giggling aren't you?
Humor makes uncomfortable situations more comfortable. It allows individuals to laugh no matter how grim living gets. It is such a nice feeling people will pay money to others to make them laugh. It is cathartic; it encourages an individual to purge their problems and painful emotions through the joy of laughter.
Study top comedians and you will soon realize that those skilled in delivering humor are great storytellers. Comedy is often based upon conflicting drama thrown up in life. It is not funny having to be funny. You need to be seriously funny to impress others. It is no joke. I mean that seriously.
Comedy and wit have little to do with an ability to tell jokes. People who 'tell jokes' are often seen as boring individuals with little sense of humor. They often begin their comedy routine with words along the line of ‘Have you heard the one about”? True comedy is the practically enacted theory of the absurdities so often found in human relationships.
Experienced comedians are not afraid to laugh at themselves because humor is a universal human activity that allows the comedian to become a philosophical spectator of his own life in relation to those around him. Popular topics often revolve around the boss, their children and/or their partner or spouse.
As a professional speaker I have two roles. As an after-dinner speaker my sole purpose is to entertain the audience. As a keynote, motivational presenter I become a serious speaker seeking to help my audience remember important messages by using humor as a powerful tool. I have learned from experience that even the most focussed of audiences have an attention span of less than seven minutes. By injecting humor into my talks I help my audience stay alert and absorb important material.
Laughter is the best medicine. Unless of course you are asthmatic when inhaled steroids are likely to come highest on your list. Which is why I am so popular with healthcare professionals. As the saying goes 'Physician heal thy self' this is exactly what I am helping to facilitate when I make my medical audiences laugh.
Laughter is a physiological response to a trigger I activate in the audience. Members of the medical profession are no different to anyone else. They regularly feel anxiety, stress and even anger. By making them laugh I pull on a laughter trigger that releases endorphins, which in turn, counteracts the unpleasantness they may be feeling at that moment in time. Furthermore, happy people feel good to be around. Patients can feel so much better simply by being around healthcare professionals who appear happy. Everyone hates a 'doctor death' character who always look as if they are about to give out bad news.
Laughter in the workplace is important too for the boosting of staff morale and for the increase in productivity that usually follows. A happy staff is a productive staff.
During the talks I give around the world I often use examples of humorous real-life examples from my own family relationships to illustrate the principles of human awareness. Looking at an audience I can usually tell those going through a difficult relationship. They are the miserable looking individuals who work so hard trying not to even smile when those around them are struggling to stem a flow of uncontrollable laughter. I always work on the principle 'you can't please all of the people all of the time'. I think Abraham Lincoln said that. Or was it Bob Dylan?
What I am in no doubt about is that laughter is the key to a happy marriage. If you are able to laugh at each other, it shows you are able to affectionately tease and play - something so important in all human relationships. Like comedy, a happy marriage takes effort.
In conclusion ~ humor is a fundamental basic in the art of effective public speaking. It can make the difference between a great talk with an enthusiastic audience and a disastrous monotonous monologue.
Wedding Speech ~ Twenty Top Tips
Motivating talk expert John Bell describes how to give a wedding speech.
Giving a speech can be a daunting task for most people. In this article top professional speaker John Bell gives twenty useful tips to the groom, best man, and father of the bride on how to give a successful and polished speech at a wedding.
1. The main purpose of a wedding reception is to celebrate the happy event and to give guests, from both families, the opportunity to meet and get to know one another. You can create the desired atmosphere through the wedding speeches.
2. Speeches are primarily a way to congratulate the happy couple on their marriage and to give thanks to those people who have taken an active part in the proceedings. They are also an ideal opportunity to add humour and fun to what is otherwise a serious event.
3. Find a balance - Speeches should be sincere but also provide an element of entertainment for guests. Delivered correctly, they are an important element of a successful wedding and, for you giving the speech, serve as an opportunity to express your best wishes for the happy couple.
4. Despite having a solemn element, marriages are also meant to be happy occasions so don’t get bogged down in any lengthy, boring procedures after the official ceremony has passed. Short, amusing speeches from the best man, groom and brides father are more than sufficient for most audiences. If you wish to have more formality the bride, maid of honour etc can be added to the list of those speaking.
5. The running order of the speeches is not set in stone but here is one of the most popular timetables:
a. The master of ceremonies or best man calls on the father of the bride to propose a toast to the bride and groom. The bride’s father then welcomes the guests before saying a few words about his daughter.
b. The groom replies by thanking his parents and normally concludes with a toast to the bridesmaids and the presentation of small gifts to them of his appreciation.
c. The best man then replies on behalf of the bridesmaids and sets the tone for the remainder of the day with a short, humorous speech.
6. The ideal length for a total of all the speeches is around 20 minutes. For three speakers, therefore, the duration of each should be around seven minutes. Experience has shown that the guests will have an attention span of around seven minutes. One or two main points in a talk are ample material for each of the speakers.
7. It follows that if your speech is to be short you don’t need piles of notes. Trying to remember where you are up to with lots of sheets of paper will cause you unnecessary stress. Your level of stress will increase dramatically if you were to drop the sheets!
8. A single index card is more than sufficient for a wedding speech. Don’t attempt to write down your speech verbatim. Reading a speech is viewed as amateurish and handwriting easily becomes illegible when standing ‘in the spotlight’ at the front of an audience.
9. If absolutely necessary write the odd word or two to aid you. Notes are meant to jog your memory and ensure you don’t leave some important point out – nothing more. Use a large font with different coloured inks if possible to separate different sections of your talk.
10. Speeches normally come after the meal and before the cutting of the cake. Know the place and approximate time in the proceedings when you will be expected to speak. Remember around of half of the audience are likely to have no idea who you are so begin by identifying yourself. Speak clearly and slowly to assist the audience to digest your masterpiece. Remember, they have already digested a substantial meal if it is a formal dining reception.
11. If of the persuasion, try your utmost not to have more than the odd alcoholic drink before giving your speech. One drink may assist in helping you relax, whereas two can seriously impair your judgement and overall performance. There is a saying ‘Everyone likes a drink. No one likes a drunk’.
12. Avoid making fun of anything associated with religion or politics, as there is a very good chance someone, somewhere in the audience, will end up being offended.
13. References that have strong sexual connotations are also taboo. The wedding reception ethos is not the same as might be found at a Stag or Hen Night celebration! Stories or jokes that are too rude will make the parents of any children at the reception feel somewhat uncomfortable. Your speech material should be fit to be on a family television programme shown before 9pm.
14. The biggest mistake made by those giving a speech is that they try too hard and end up well out of their comfort zone. Be natural; speak as you do with friends in polite company and, if possible, do it from the heart. Showing you are a caring, emotional person always goes down well with ladies in the audience.
15. Providing you don’t cause any embarrassment, attempt to include stories that involve guests at the reception. People like amusing stories in which they are included. It is all about building a rapport with your audience.
16. Comment on something that happened at the church or reception the guests will marvel at you ability to ad lib and will laugh all the more during your speech. It doesn’t need to be side- splittingly funny. If they feel part of your humorous observation their laughter will be loud and often becomes contagious.
17. If possible, throw off the constraints of a ‘prepared speech’ by interacting with light-hearted banter that always comes from a happy and perhaps slightly tipsy audience. Get the tone and pace of your talk right and you will have the audience eating out of your hand.
18. If you are speaking but are not down to give a toast, I have found that an ‘So, here’s again to the happy couple’ can be useful in letting the guests know you have finished and gives them an excuse to have another quick swig of champagne.
19. The wedding celebration is for your enjoyment too. Prepare your material well in advance. Practise and practise again. Get to a point where you feel you know your material without having to refer to notes. It is not essential to get it word perfect. Relax, be natural, don’t try too hard and there is every possibility your speech will be a fantastic success, admired and enjoyed by all.
20. In conclusion a few words of caution: don’t get too carried away when your speech goes down well with the audience and start believing they want you to go on for a lot, lot longer! You will quickly over stay your welcome and a great speech will become a ‘It was ok, but he went on too long!’ saga.
Do your seven minutes, stop and leave them wanting more.
I wish you a great day and every success with your speech.
Giving a speech can be a daunting task for most people. In this article top professional speaker John Bell gives twenty useful tips to the groom, best man, and father of the bride on how to give a successful and polished speech at a wedding.
1. The main purpose of a wedding reception is to celebrate the happy event and to give guests, from both families, the opportunity to meet and get to know one another. You can create the desired atmosphere through the wedding speeches.
2. Speeches are primarily a way to congratulate the happy couple on their marriage and to give thanks to those people who have taken an active part in the proceedings. They are also an ideal opportunity to add humour and fun to what is otherwise a serious event.
3. Find a balance - Speeches should be sincere but also provide an element of entertainment for guests. Delivered correctly, they are an important element of a successful wedding and, for you giving the speech, serve as an opportunity to express your best wishes for the happy couple.
4. Despite having a solemn element, marriages are also meant to be happy occasions so don’t get bogged down in any lengthy, boring procedures after the official ceremony has passed. Short, amusing speeches from the best man, groom and brides father are more than sufficient for most audiences. If you wish to have more formality the bride, maid of honour etc can be added to the list of those speaking.
5. The running order of the speeches is not set in stone but here is one of the most popular timetables:
a. The master of ceremonies or best man calls on the father of the bride to propose a toast to the bride and groom. The bride’s father then welcomes the guests before saying a few words about his daughter.
b. The groom replies by thanking his parents and normally concludes with a toast to the bridesmaids and the presentation of small gifts to them of his appreciation.
c. The best man then replies on behalf of the bridesmaids and sets the tone for the remainder of the day with a short, humorous speech.
6. The ideal length for a total of all the speeches is around 20 minutes. For three speakers, therefore, the duration of each should be around seven minutes. Experience has shown that the guests will have an attention span of around seven minutes. One or two main points in a talk are ample material for each of the speakers.
7. It follows that if your speech is to be short you don’t need piles of notes. Trying to remember where you are up to with lots of sheets of paper will cause you unnecessary stress. Your level of stress will increase dramatically if you were to drop the sheets!
8. A single index card is more than sufficient for a wedding speech. Don’t attempt to write down your speech verbatim. Reading a speech is viewed as amateurish and handwriting easily becomes illegible when standing ‘in the spotlight’ at the front of an audience.
9. If absolutely necessary write the odd word or two to aid you. Notes are meant to jog your memory and ensure you don’t leave some important point out – nothing more. Use a large font with different coloured inks if possible to separate different sections of your talk.
10. Speeches normally come after the meal and before the cutting of the cake. Know the place and approximate time in the proceedings when you will be expected to speak. Remember around of half of the audience are likely to have no idea who you are so begin by identifying yourself. Speak clearly and slowly to assist the audience to digest your masterpiece. Remember, they have already digested a substantial meal if it is a formal dining reception.
11. If of the persuasion, try your utmost not to have more than the odd alcoholic drink before giving your speech. One drink may assist in helping you relax, whereas two can seriously impair your judgement and overall performance. There is a saying ‘Everyone likes a drink. No one likes a drunk’.
12. Avoid making fun of anything associated with religion or politics, as there is a very good chance someone, somewhere in the audience, will end up being offended.
13. References that have strong sexual connotations are also taboo. The wedding reception ethos is not the same as might be found at a Stag or Hen Night celebration! Stories or jokes that are too rude will make the parents of any children at the reception feel somewhat uncomfortable. Your speech material should be fit to be on a family television programme shown before 9pm.
14. The biggest mistake made by those giving a speech is that they try too hard and end up well out of their comfort zone. Be natural; speak as you do with friends in polite company and, if possible, do it from the heart. Showing you are a caring, emotional person always goes down well with ladies in the audience.
15. Providing you don’t cause any embarrassment, attempt to include stories that involve guests at the reception. People like amusing stories in which they are included. It is all about building a rapport with your audience.
16. Comment on something that happened at the church or reception the guests will marvel at you ability to ad lib and will laugh all the more during your speech. It doesn’t need to be side- splittingly funny. If they feel part of your humorous observation their laughter will be loud and often becomes contagious.
17. If possible, throw off the constraints of a ‘prepared speech’ by interacting with light-hearted banter that always comes from a happy and perhaps slightly tipsy audience. Get the tone and pace of your talk right and you will have the audience eating out of your hand.
18. If you are speaking but are not down to give a toast, I have found that an ‘So, here’s again to the happy couple’ can be useful in letting the guests know you have finished and gives them an excuse to have another quick swig of champagne.
19. The wedding celebration is for your enjoyment too. Prepare your material well in advance. Practise and practise again. Get to a point where you feel you know your material without having to refer to notes. It is not essential to get it word perfect. Relax, be natural, don’t try too hard and there is every possibility your speech will be a fantastic success, admired and enjoyed by all.
20. In conclusion a few words of caution: don’t get too carried away when your speech goes down well with the audience and start believing they want you to go on for a lot, lot longer! You will quickly over stay your welcome and a great speech will become a ‘It was ok, but he went on too long!’ saga.
Do your seven minutes, stop and leave them wanting more.
I wish you a great day and every success with your speech.
Friday, 21 March 2008
Listening to Your Audience
The main cause of failing business and the breakdown of relationships tends to be poor communication. In this article John Bell motivational speaker reveals the main mistakes many people make and provide permanent remedies, with some top tips you can start using immediately to motivate and inspire others. John has conducted primary research into how people behave. He helps professionals to peel back the layers of individual behaviour and discover how to get cooperation. This works equally well in all walks of life.
Simple modifications to language, behaviour and response can significantly improve the interaction between people and produce positive results.
What is the secret of ensuring people listen to you?
This article contains one simple message. Here it is:
People pay attention to a good listener.
‘Meta-language’ is when a person says one thing, and means something totally different. When someone is not listening, or doesn’t intend to do what you are suggesting, they involuntarily send out signals. Once you have learned how to spot these clues, you can regain their attention, or address their lack of conviction. In this article John will show you how to identify this behaviour and tell you what you can do about it.
Many of the clues lie in your own behaviour as a listener. Learn to scrutinise how you listen; in improving yourself you will become more responsive and persuasive to those who must listen to you.
This article will show you how to be a better listener.
But - if you’re still not sure whether you need to read further, ask yourself a couple of important questions:
Do you sometimes feel that you are not very good at persuading people – or that you may not even be heard?
Would you be prepared to invest an hour of your time, if you knew it would help to make you more influential and effective?
Tip One:
Become a better listener
Work on your own listening skills and you will gain far more from your communication with other people. Learn to spot the meta-language people use when they don’t mean what they are saying. Listen actively.
Borrow the tricks of the professional listeners’ trade
If appropriate say, ‘I agree with you’. Raise your eyebrows now and then. Give little nods. Echo what the other person says.
Ask short probing questions using what, why, when, how and where
Short questions should lead to long revealing answers.
Look for clues to meta-language
When people don’t really believe what they are saying – in other words, when they are being less than honest – their hands move to cover their mouths. More clues will be revealed in Tip Seven.
Retrieve the situation
When you spot meta-language going on, gently challenge what’s being said to you. Check that the person understands what you are saying to them.
Tip Two:
Find out what you are doing that loses people’s attention
When a person appears not to listen to you, it may be that you are ‘talking at’ him or her in some way.
Ensure you cannot be accused of any of these:
Being boring
Practise putting rise-and-fall into your voice. Use short sentences and pauses to break up your message. Introduce humour if you can.
Using jargon
We all use long or obscure words, with people who specialise in a similar field to ours. It’s important to remember what the jargon means, and to use plainer words with people outside that group.
Not noticing when your listener’s attention wanders
Are you maintaining eye contact with everyone to whom you are speaking? Are they nodding and echoing back what you are saying? If you don’t notice when you’ve lost someone, you cannot bring them back.
Tip Three:
Reasons for not listening Number 1 - Embarrassment
It is surprisingly easy to embarrass a person. People who are embarrassed are not listening any more. They are more concerned with their own panicky thoughts and hope you won’t notice their red face.
Look for the clues
We all know the signs: a flushed face, perhaps a red rash on the throat and ears. Look out for sudden loss of eye contact or evidence of sweaty hands and a dry mouth.
Quickly review what you’ve just said
Perhaps you are expecting too much from the other person and he or she is ashamed not to be able to understand you. Go over the ground again more slowly, or use different language. Becoming cross will only make things worse, so keep calm.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
Be careful not to draw attention to the embarrassment itself: it is only a clue to internal turmoil. Work gently around it until the meta-language dies down and the person is listening properly to you once more.
Tip Four:
Reasons for not listening Number 2 - Shock
Whether you have good or bad news to share, be careful of triggering a shocked reaction.
When people look shocked, they are not listening
You may not realise you’re at risk of causing a shocked reaction. It depends what the person was expecting you to say. Watch his or her face for that wide-eyed, frozen, open-mouthed expression.
Let the shock subside
Like an embarrassed person, a shocked person is listening more to the frantic voice inside his or her own head than to what you are saying. Talk about less threatening aspects while you wait for him or her to calm down. Then go on with the more detailed information, taking it more gently this time.
Tip Five:
Reasons for not listening Number 3 – Being Unconvinced
Someone who is unconvinced by what you are saying will find that his or her attention wanders.
Look for the clues
The classic meta-language clue to this is ‘cotton-picking’, when a person picks at imaginary fluff on their clothing or dabs at apparently perfect makeup.
Quickly review what you’ve just said
Can you identify the point at which your audience slipped away from you? Go back and re-state that same point in a different way. Listen actively while you are talking. Get that person back on your side before moving on.
Tip Six:
Reasons for not listening Number 4 - Confusion
There are people who earn a living by confusing people on purpose. They are called politicians. However, it can be easy to confuse people by mistake. A confused person will not admit to his lack of comprehension, and will not dare to ask you for clarification afterwards.
Check for understanding
Instead of asking whether a person understands what you have just said, make a comment that requires an informed reply. If he doesn’t or can’t give the answer you expected, he may have become confused. Go over the facts again in a different way.
Use empathy to reduce the tension
Saying, ’I don’t know about you, but even I found this idea confusing when I was new to it,’ should bring the person’s focus back to you. Then you can rephrase your message in a clearer way.
Tip Seven:
Spot the liar
People who are not listening, or who don’t understanding you clearly, display similar meta-language clues to people who are lying. This does not mean they are liars. It merely suggests you are not getting through. Here are the clues:
Covering the mouth
A person trying to give the false impression of understanding or agreeing with you will nervously touch or cover their mouth.
Averting the eyes
Often a man will look down, and if he wears glasses will remove them.
Cotton-picking and other fussing
Sometimes a woman will fuss with her nails or skirt, or pick fluff from her collar.
Nose and eye touching
The more a person tends to touch their nose, the more likely it is that he or she is telling lies. Women are especially prone to eye-touching when lying.
Tip Eight:
Be alert to selective hearing
A person may not show any outward signs of not listening attentively and yet he is still editing out important parts of what you are saying. Believe it or not, we all tend to hear half of what is being said. We listen to only half of that, and we remember half of that. This is normal behaviour, especially when you remember how busy we all are.
Slow down
Research shows that people can listen three times more quickly than they can talk. But it’s tiring. When you are making someone work that hard, listening to you, it is natural for them to take some ‘down time’. They will think about something else for a moment. During that moment they do not hear what you’re saying.
Beware of bombshells
Sometimes an emotive word will be the only thing a person hears out of what you are saying. This is catastrophic if what he or she remembers afterwards is the opposite of what you meant. For example, you might be reassuring, ‘. . there will be no redundancies.’ or, ‘. . I’m not leaving you.’ or, ‘. . you don’t look fat at all in that’ - and all your listener remembers is redundancies, leaving me, I look fat.
Tip Nine:
Use language positively
Your choice of language can make all the difference to the meaning you convey. When the magician says, ‘Don’t imagine a blue daisy,’ you can’t help imagining that unusual flower. When a friend says, ‘Don’t worry,’ that’s exactly what you do. Saying, ‘Picture a red rose,’ or ‘Think how happy you’ll be when it’s over,’ has the opposite effect. Positive language is powerful talk.
Don’t say don’t
When you tell a child not to step in a puddle, you give it the idea of stepping in the puddle. It might not even have noticed that puddle before you mentioned it. When you want people to hear an important point you are making, make that element the focus of what you are saying. Not the opposite.
Be honest and look out for honesty in others
There are verbal clues that denote a lack of honesty. ‘By the way . .’ signals the real reason for your conversation. ‘With all due respect .’ means someone is about to insult you. ‘I’m not racist but . .’ heralds a racist comment. Look out for words that contradict what has just been said or is said next.
Tip Ten:
Think like JFK
American President John F Kennedy had the ability to walk into a room, start chatting to any person there, and within 30 seconds he had that individual on his side. JFK’s secret was to spot clues to which of these three senses a person most uses to take in information, and then to use the language to which he was most attuned.
‘Feeling’ people
Sometimes called ‘kinaesthetic’, these people learn by experiencing. They say things like: ‘You touched on an important point there’ or ‘I hope I haven’t hurt your feelings’.
Say to them: ‘I feel you are picking this up quickly’ or, ‘I sense this is going well’
‘Listening’ people
Also called ‘auditory’, they learn best through words. Give them a map and they’ll rewrite your directions as bullet points. They say things like: ‘I hear your anger’ or ‘Sounds as if you’re getting the idea’.
Say to them: ‘I hear what you’re saying’
‘Seeing’ people
Often described as ‘visual’, they understand the world through pictures. Their directions will come in the form of a map. They scribble diagrams to explain a point. They say things like: ‘The idea came to me in a flash’ or ‘I’m trying to picture it’.
Say to them: ‘I see where you’re coming from’
Simple modifications to language, behaviour and response can significantly improve the interaction between people and produce positive results.
What is the secret of ensuring people listen to you?
This article contains one simple message. Here it is:
People pay attention to a good listener.
‘Meta-language’ is when a person says one thing, and means something totally different. When someone is not listening, or doesn’t intend to do what you are suggesting, they involuntarily send out signals. Once you have learned how to spot these clues, you can regain their attention, or address their lack of conviction. In this article John will show you how to identify this behaviour and tell you what you can do about it.
Many of the clues lie in your own behaviour as a listener. Learn to scrutinise how you listen; in improving yourself you will become more responsive and persuasive to those who must listen to you.
This article will show you how to be a better listener.
But - if you’re still not sure whether you need to read further, ask yourself a couple of important questions:
Do you sometimes feel that you are not very good at persuading people – or that you may not even be heard?
Would you be prepared to invest an hour of your time, if you knew it would help to make you more influential and effective?
Tip One:
Become a better listener
Work on your own listening skills and you will gain far more from your communication with other people. Learn to spot the meta-language people use when they don’t mean what they are saying. Listen actively.
Borrow the tricks of the professional listeners’ trade
If appropriate say, ‘I agree with you’. Raise your eyebrows now and then. Give little nods. Echo what the other person says.
Ask short probing questions using what, why, when, how and where
Short questions should lead to long revealing answers.
Look for clues to meta-language
When people don’t really believe what they are saying – in other words, when they are being less than honest – their hands move to cover their mouths. More clues will be revealed in Tip Seven.
Retrieve the situation
When you spot meta-language going on, gently challenge what’s being said to you. Check that the person understands what you are saying to them.
Tip Two:
Find out what you are doing that loses people’s attention
When a person appears not to listen to you, it may be that you are ‘talking at’ him or her in some way.
Ensure you cannot be accused of any of these:
Being boring
Practise putting rise-and-fall into your voice. Use short sentences and pauses to break up your message. Introduce humour if you can.
Using jargon
We all use long or obscure words, with people who specialise in a similar field to ours. It’s important to remember what the jargon means, and to use plainer words with people outside that group.
Not noticing when your listener’s attention wanders
Are you maintaining eye contact with everyone to whom you are speaking? Are they nodding and echoing back what you are saying? If you don’t notice when you’ve lost someone, you cannot bring them back.
Tip Three:
Reasons for not listening Number 1 - Embarrassment
It is surprisingly easy to embarrass a person. People who are embarrassed are not listening any more. They are more concerned with their own panicky thoughts and hope you won’t notice their red face.
Look for the clues
We all know the signs: a flushed face, perhaps a red rash on the throat and ears. Look out for sudden loss of eye contact or evidence of sweaty hands and a dry mouth.
Quickly review what you’ve just said
Perhaps you are expecting too much from the other person and he or she is ashamed not to be able to understand you. Go over the ground again more slowly, or use different language. Becoming cross will only make things worse, so keep calm.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
Be careful not to draw attention to the embarrassment itself: it is only a clue to internal turmoil. Work gently around it until the meta-language dies down and the person is listening properly to you once more.
Tip Four:
Reasons for not listening Number 2 - Shock
Whether you have good or bad news to share, be careful of triggering a shocked reaction.
When people look shocked, they are not listening
You may not realise you’re at risk of causing a shocked reaction. It depends what the person was expecting you to say. Watch his or her face for that wide-eyed, frozen, open-mouthed expression.
Let the shock subside
Like an embarrassed person, a shocked person is listening more to the frantic voice inside his or her own head than to what you are saying. Talk about less threatening aspects while you wait for him or her to calm down. Then go on with the more detailed information, taking it more gently this time.
Tip Five:
Reasons for not listening Number 3 – Being Unconvinced
Someone who is unconvinced by what you are saying will find that his or her attention wanders.
Look for the clues
The classic meta-language clue to this is ‘cotton-picking’, when a person picks at imaginary fluff on their clothing or dabs at apparently perfect makeup.
Quickly review what you’ve just said
Can you identify the point at which your audience slipped away from you? Go back and re-state that same point in a different way. Listen actively while you are talking. Get that person back on your side before moving on.
Tip Six:
Reasons for not listening Number 4 - Confusion
There are people who earn a living by confusing people on purpose. They are called politicians. However, it can be easy to confuse people by mistake. A confused person will not admit to his lack of comprehension, and will not dare to ask you for clarification afterwards.
Check for understanding
Instead of asking whether a person understands what you have just said, make a comment that requires an informed reply. If he doesn’t or can’t give the answer you expected, he may have become confused. Go over the facts again in a different way.
Use empathy to reduce the tension
Saying, ’I don’t know about you, but even I found this idea confusing when I was new to it,’ should bring the person’s focus back to you. Then you can rephrase your message in a clearer way.
Tip Seven:
Spot the liar
People who are not listening, or who don’t understanding you clearly, display similar meta-language clues to people who are lying. This does not mean they are liars. It merely suggests you are not getting through. Here are the clues:
Covering the mouth
A person trying to give the false impression of understanding or agreeing with you will nervously touch or cover their mouth.
Averting the eyes
Often a man will look down, and if he wears glasses will remove them.
Cotton-picking and other fussing
Sometimes a woman will fuss with her nails or skirt, or pick fluff from her collar.
Nose and eye touching
The more a person tends to touch their nose, the more likely it is that he or she is telling lies. Women are especially prone to eye-touching when lying.
Tip Eight:
Be alert to selective hearing
A person may not show any outward signs of not listening attentively and yet he is still editing out important parts of what you are saying. Believe it or not, we all tend to hear half of what is being said. We listen to only half of that, and we remember half of that. This is normal behaviour, especially when you remember how busy we all are.
Slow down
Research shows that people can listen three times more quickly than they can talk. But it’s tiring. When you are making someone work that hard, listening to you, it is natural for them to take some ‘down time’. They will think about something else for a moment. During that moment they do not hear what you’re saying.
Beware of bombshells
Sometimes an emotive word will be the only thing a person hears out of what you are saying. This is catastrophic if what he or she remembers afterwards is the opposite of what you meant. For example, you might be reassuring, ‘. . there will be no redundancies.’ or, ‘. . I’m not leaving you.’ or, ‘. . you don’t look fat at all in that’ - and all your listener remembers is redundancies, leaving me, I look fat.
Tip Nine:
Use language positively
Your choice of language can make all the difference to the meaning you convey. When the magician says, ‘Don’t imagine a blue daisy,’ you can’t help imagining that unusual flower. When a friend says, ‘Don’t worry,’ that’s exactly what you do. Saying, ‘Picture a red rose,’ or ‘Think how happy you’ll be when it’s over,’ has the opposite effect. Positive language is powerful talk.
Don’t say don’t
When you tell a child not to step in a puddle, you give it the idea of stepping in the puddle. It might not even have noticed that puddle before you mentioned it. When you want people to hear an important point you are making, make that element the focus of what you are saying. Not the opposite.
Be honest and look out for honesty in others
There are verbal clues that denote a lack of honesty. ‘By the way . .’ signals the real reason for your conversation. ‘With all due respect .’ means someone is about to insult you. ‘I’m not racist but . .’ heralds a racist comment. Look out for words that contradict what has just been said or is said next.
Tip Ten:
Think like JFK
American President John F Kennedy had the ability to walk into a room, start chatting to any person there, and within 30 seconds he had that individual on his side. JFK’s secret was to spot clues to which of these three senses a person most uses to take in information, and then to use the language to which he was most attuned.
‘Feeling’ people
Sometimes called ‘kinaesthetic’, these people learn by experiencing. They say things like: ‘You touched on an important point there’ or ‘I hope I haven’t hurt your feelings’.
Say to them: ‘I feel you are picking this up quickly’ or, ‘I sense this is going well’
‘Listening’ people
Also called ‘auditory’, they learn best through words. Give them a map and they’ll rewrite your directions as bullet points. They say things like: ‘I hear your anger’ or ‘Sounds as if you’re getting the idea’.
Say to them: ‘I hear what you’re saying’
‘Seeing’ people
Often described as ‘visual’, they understand the world through pictures. Their directions will come in the form of a map. They scribble diagrams to explain a point. They say things like: ‘The idea came to me in a flash’ or ‘I’m trying to picture it’.
Say to them: ‘I see where you’re coming from’
Thursday, 14 February 2008
Manage, Motivate And Inspire Others - Learn How To (ARTICLE THREE)
The Interview
In this the third article in the series on how to motivate and inspire others, business conference speaker John Bell supplies some tips on recruitment interviewing skills.
An interview is a two-way process. The production of a skills and ability list I described in the 2nd article in this series will assist you, and any colleagues involved in the process, to develop a format and set of questions that can be asked of each candidate. By doing so you are being fair to the candidates and will also be able to make direct comparisons.
If you are armed with a list of skills and qualities for the job you can split these into two categories – necessary and desirable. Necessary should include all the qualities without which the job could not be done. Desirable can include other qualities and skills that may go towards making the candidate better able to perform the job above the basic minimum expectations.
The list will help you to devise questions to ask the candidate. Carefully worded enquiries not only allows for illuminating answers, but permits more probing through additional questions.
Rudyard Kipling came up with a great piece of advice on the subject of probing questions.
He wrote ‘ I keep six honest serving men they taught me all I knew their names are what and why and how and who’. These are the types of questions that encourage the interviewee to provide the extra information you need to establish who is the best candidate.
On the other hand, closed questions hinder the free flow of an interview and should only be used to quickly establish required data. For example you might ask, ‘Were you involved in the ordering of supplies?’ Such questions will normally be answered yes or no. A good candidate might prefer to elaborate a little and supply additional information to aid their chances. For example, ‘No, but I was responsible for that task in a previous job’. However, if you only got a yes or a no, then you have not allowed the candidate the room to tell you more about themselves. A simple yes or no may let you tick a box in your list of qualities, and that may be all you want, but it tells you nothing about the candidate.
One popular method of questioning used by some managers during an interview is to ask the candidate about a hypothetical situation. This technique takes some of the pressure off the candidate, as they are being asked to talk about a situation that is not essentially real, nor personal to them. However, what they usually don’t realise is that they can reveal far more about themselves through their answer than if they were to be asked to talk directly about their own experiences. The danger of the hypothetical question is that the candidate may end up tying themselves in knots!
To make the hypothetical questions that you use fair to the candidate you should make the question as clear as possible, removing all ambiguity. You should also keep the scenario to a situation that should be within the candidate’s ability to talk about.
Some managers use a technique of negative questioning. This is where the candidate may, for example, be asked to reflect on some aspect of their previous job that they didn’t like, or to ask if there was anyone that they could not get along with.
Although such questions usually focus on negative aspects of work and life, some small advantage is that they allow the candidate to show that he or she is self-reflecting. In doing so they can indicate they acknowledge they have weaknesses whilst creating an opportunity to correct such behaviour.
For example you might ask, ‘What is your greatest weakness’? The answer that is offered can tell you much about the provider. A good candidate will remain calm and give an honest answer.
A clever candidate will often turn a negative into a positive by saying something along the lines of, ‘I know there are times when I can come across as being somewhat impatient with other people. My manager in my present job sees this as a virtue as, for him, it indicates an eagerness on my part to get tasks done quickly.’
Thoughtful candidates are likely to anticipate many of the questions you ask. They will have done their research by reading through the likes of company literature. This will provide a demonstration of their interest in the position offered. Having done their homework, they will come over as confident and prepared.
An effective candidate will look at the person asking the question and direct their answer to that individual at the same time, occasionally glancing towards others on the panel. For those on the interview panel this will indicate the interviewee has accepted some command of the situation.
In the 4th article in this series I will describe other methods that can be used to determine the suitability of a candidate.
In this the third article in the series on how to motivate and inspire others, business conference speaker John Bell supplies some tips on recruitment interviewing skills.
An interview is a two-way process. The production of a skills and ability list I described in the 2nd article in this series will assist you, and any colleagues involved in the process, to develop a format and set of questions that can be asked of each candidate. By doing so you are being fair to the candidates and will also be able to make direct comparisons.
If you are armed with a list of skills and qualities for the job you can split these into two categories – necessary and desirable. Necessary should include all the qualities without which the job could not be done. Desirable can include other qualities and skills that may go towards making the candidate better able to perform the job above the basic minimum expectations.
The list will help you to devise questions to ask the candidate. Carefully worded enquiries not only allows for illuminating answers, but permits more probing through additional questions.
Rudyard Kipling came up with a great piece of advice on the subject of probing questions.
He wrote ‘ I keep six honest serving men they taught me all I knew their names are what and why and how and who’. These are the types of questions that encourage the interviewee to provide the extra information you need to establish who is the best candidate.
On the other hand, closed questions hinder the free flow of an interview and should only be used to quickly establish required data. For example you might ask, ‘Were you involved in the ordering of supplies?’ Such questions will normally be answered yes or no. A good candidate might prefer to elaborate a little and supply additional information to aid their chances. For example, ‘No, but I was responsible for that task in a previous job’. However, if you only got a yes or a no, then you have not allowed the candidate the room to tell you more about themselves. A simple yes or no may let you tick a box in your list of qualities, and that may be all you want, but it tells you nothing about the candidate.
One popular method of questioning used by some managers during an interview is to ask the candidate about a hypothetical situation. This technique takes some of the pressure off the candidate, as they are being asked to talk about a situation that is not essentially real, nor personal to them. However, what they usually don’t realise is that they can reveal far more about themselves through their answer than if they were to be asked to talk directly about their own experiences. The danger of the hypothetical question is that the candidate may end up tying themselves in knots!
To make the hypothetical questions that you use fair to the candidate you should make the question as clear as possible, removing all ambiguity. You should also keep the scenario to a situation that should be within the candidate’s ability to talk about.
Some managers use a technique of negative questioning. This is where the candidate may, for example, be asked to reflect on some aspect of their previous job that they didn’t like, or to ask if there was anyone that they could not get along with.
Although such questions usually focus on negative aspects of work and life, some small advantage is that they allow the candidate to show that he or she is self-reflecting. In doing so they can indicate they acknowledge they have weaknesses whilst creating an opportunity to correct such behaviour.
For example you might ask, ‘What is your greatest weakness’? The answer that is offered can tell you much about the provider. A good candidate will remain calm and give an honest answer.
A clever candidate will often turn a negative into a positive by saying something along the lines of, ‘I know there are times when I can come across as being somewhat impatient with other people. My manager in my present job sees this as a virtue as, for him, it indicates an eagerness on my part to get tasks done quickly.’
Thoughtful candidates are likely to anticipate many of the questions you ask. They will have done their research by reading through the likes of company literature. This will provide a demonstration of their interest in the position offered. Having done their homework, they will come over as confident and prepared.
An effective candidate will look at the person asking the question and direct their answer to that individual at the same time, occasionally glancing towards others on the panel. For those on the interview panel this will indicate the interviewee has accepted some command of the situation.
In the 4th article in this series I will describe other methods that can be used to determine the suitability of a candidate.
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